1 00:00:11,352 --> 00:00:14,765 Good evening. Good evening, good evening. 2 00:00:14,894 --> 00:00:16,517 Hello, chaps. 3 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,766 Thank you for coming. 4 00:00:23,019 --> 00:00:27,807 Now then, we have a long way to go, so... er... keep your powder dry. 5 00:00:29,395 --> 00:00:32,428 Righty-ho... settle down, now. 6 00:00:36,978 --> 00:00:39,514 1... 2... 3... 7 00:00:39,645 --> 00:00:47,384 8 00:00:48,562 --> 00:00:54,476 mad about the boy 9 00:00:56,188 --> 00:01:00,680 but must admit 10 00:01:00,813 --> 00:01:07,770 I've had about the boy 11 00:01:10,939 --> 00:01:14,719 12 00:01:14,856 --> 00:01:20,888 in every single scene 13 00:01:23,023 --> 00:01:25,807 14 00:01:25,939 --> 00:01:34,307 of the cad about the boy 15 00:01:37,815 --> 00:01:42,722 16 00:01:44,691 --> 00:01:49,514 17 00:01:51,608 --> 00:01:55,388 18 00:01:55,524 --> 00:02:02,564 19 00:02:04,233 --> 00:02:13,643 of misery and joy? 20 00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:20,397 and young again 21 00:02:20,526 --> 00:02:27,815 about the boy 22 00:02:42,694 --> 00:02:47,067 and young again 23 00:02:47,194 --> 00:02:52,101 24 00:02:53,403 --> 00:02:59,270 25 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:18,608 - She's the first lady racer. - But she didn't actually win. 26 00:03:18,737 --> 00:03:23,111 She crossed the line first. It's so exciting. 27 00:03:23,238 --> 00:03:25,608 Not nearly as exciting as crossing your mother. 28 00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:28,227 I think we can all ignore that. 29 00:03:28,363 --> 00:03:31,396 Oh, what is that man doing? 30 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:37,107 Jackson! 31 00:03:37,238 --> 00:03:39,395 - Madam? - What did I tell you? 32 00:03:39,530 --> 00:03:43,738 Put the camellias by the front door before the guests arrive! 33 00:03:43,864 --> 00:03:45,321 - Furber. - Madam? 34 00:03:45,447 --> 00:03:49,109 Salvage any of Jackson's appalling pruning and send it to Mrs Holborough 35 00:03:49,239 --> 00:03:54,110 who's kindly offered up a leg of mutton for dinner, which you'll fetch, Marion. 36 00:03:54,239 --> 00:03:57,237 But Reverend Burton has asked me to drain the font. 37 00:03:57,365 --> 00:04:00,647 - My hands are clearly full. - I'll go. 38 00:04:00,781 --> 00:04:04,064 Uncle George has posted the most grizzly clippings 39 00:04:04,198 --> 00:04:05,905 of the Valentine's Day Massacre! 40 00:04:06,032 --> 00:04:07,276 Hilda. 41 00:04:07,407 --> 00:04:11,981 Seven terrified men cut down in a hail of automatic gun fire! 42 00:04:12,115 --> 00:04:16,358 Made worse by the strays that came to lap the curdled blood. 43 00:04:16,491 --> 00:04:19,939 - Hilda... - The Devil Dogs! The Hounds of Hell! 44 00:04:20,074 --> 00:04:22,823 The leg of lamb! Now. 45 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:32,569 Why we try and marry her off to gentry when plainly she'd prefer an undertaker. 46 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:36,694 Seating. I'm putting Sarah on your left and Philip on your right, 47 00:04:36,825 --> 00:04:39,492 so please try and make an effort to be civil. 48 00:04:39,617 --> 00:04:44,239 Right... I shall go and brush up on my very small talk. 49 00:04:45,534 --> 00:04:47,774 It might be an awkward meal. 50 00:04:47,909 --> 00:04:51,689 For all we know Sarah's grazing in greener pastures. 51 00:04:51,826 --> 00:04:56,863 Whilst your brother sows his wild oats in the South of France with his floozy? 52 00:04:56,993 --> 00:05:02,148 No. We'll keep the home fires burning until his highness wanders home. 53 00:05:02,285 --> 00:05:04,075 Hmm. Like father did? 54 00:05:04,202 --> 00:05:06,773 Yes. Like your father did. 55 00:05:17,119 --> 00:05:19,323 I've got news, everybody! 56 00:05:20,203 --> 00:05:23,568 - You all right, sir? - No. Are you? 57 00:05:23,703 --> 00:05:26,487 - Coping, sir. - Hear, hear. Well done. 58 00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:29,571 Well done? They look like they're waiting for a firing squad. 59 00:05:29,703 --> 00:05:34,076 - Can't you make them more relaxed? - Last meal and a cigarette, perhaps? 60 00:05:34,203 --> 00:05:38,411 I can't believe it. You'll never guess. 61 00:05:38,537 --> 00:05:42,401 Houdini escaped the Chinese water torture only to die of a burst appendix. 62 00:05:42,537 --> 00:05:45,868 How ghastly! Oh, and Mother's got a telegram. 63 00:05:47,204 --> 00:05:49,408 "Mr and Mrs Whittaker". Your mother. 64 00:05:50,788 --> 00:05:52,862 What's it say, Father? 65 00:05:53,829 --> 00:05:56,116 Perhaps your mother should read this first. 66 00:05:56,246 --> 00:06:00,987 Oh! That stupid, stupid, stupid boy! 67 00:06:01,121 --> 00:06:04,036 What's happened? Has there been an accident? 68 00:06:04,163 --> 00:06:07,197 - It's John, he's married that f-f-f... - Francophile? 69 00:06:07,330 --> 00:06:09,735 - F-f-f... - Photographer? 70 00:06:09,872 --> 00:06:12,574 - Pharmacist? - Why are you smirking? 71 00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,869 Deploying a smile. One member of this family may actually be happy. 72 00:06:15,997 --> 00:06:19,694 Don't be absurd! We don't know anything about this woman. Furber! 73 00:06:19,831 --> 00:06:21,537 Furber! 74 00:06:21,664 --> 00:06:24,235 - Oh, not again! - Madam. 75 00:06:24,373 --> 00:06:26,447 Lord have mercy. 76 00:06:26,581 --> 00:06:30,196 Mister John is coming home with his... with his wife. 77 00:06:30,331 --> 00:06:32,654 Yes. Their bags have just arrived. Congratulations, Madam. 78 00:06:32,790 --> 00:06:36,654 I'll be the judge of that. Clear up this mess and get Cook to send up a ham. 79 00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:40,784 - This is from Dover. They'll be half way. - Yes, Furber. Dress the mutton as ham. 80 00:06:40,915 --> 00:06:43,072 Very sharp, don't cut yourself. 81 00:06:43,207 --> 00:06:45,743 John married the floozy. How exciting! 82 00:06:59,125 --> 00:07:03,617 83 00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:06,665 84 00:07:06,792 --> 00:07:12,741 ... this dream we found 85 00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:18,997 There she blows. Behold the country cottage. 86 00:07:19,126 --> 00:07:21,200 Oh, Lord, it's enormous. 87 00:07:21,334 --> 00:07:25,280 So, I lied about gingerbread hedges and obese little children. 88 00:07:25,418 --> 00:07:28,949 - How hard to swim is the moat? - Smoke and mirrors, darling. 89 00:07:29,085 --> 00:07:30,992 Smoke and mirrors. 90 00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:37,240 Oh, by the by, smoking... don't. Apparently it wilts the azaleas. 91 00:07:37,377 --> 00:07:41,038 - That makes no sense. Speak English. - All will be revealed, darling. 92 00:07:43,127 --> 00:07:47,749 Oh, give me back the wheel of my car. I'm going back to Detroit! 93 00:07:53,086 --> 00:07:54,993 How romantic! 94 00:07:55,128 --> 00:07:58,292 Here they come! Oh, Furber! 95 00:07:58,420 --> 00:08:00,908 Mister John and his wife are about to arrive. 96 00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:03,913 - I can't see them. - Your tunnel vision. 97 00:08:06,878 --> 00:08:08,040 Ooh! 98 00:08:12,504 --> 00:08:15,502 - Smile, Marion. - I don't feel like smiling. 99 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,205 You're English, dear. Fake it. 100 00:08:26,963 --> 00:08:30,329 The prodigal son returns in a blaze of gravel. 101 00:08:30,463 --> 00:08:32,750 Father! You shaved. 102 00:08:35,463 --> 00:08:38,082 Welcome, Madam. 103 00:08:38,214 --> 00:08:40,963 You look gorgeous. 104 00:08:41,089 --> 00:08:43,210 It's so lovely to see you. 105 00:08:47,881 --> 00:08:50,334 Oh, darling. Sorry, sorry! 106 00:08:53,006 --> 00:08:55,495 This is my wife, Larita. 107 00:08:56,590 --> 00:08:59,872 Mrs Whittaker, the pleasure is all mine. 108 00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,547 Oh, you're American. 109 00:09:01,673 --> 00:09:04,422 - And very welcome. Jim Whittaker. - This is my father. 110 00:09:04,548 --> 00:09:07,167 I fought alongside many of your countrymen, Larita, 111 00:09:07,299 --> 00:09:09,965 and I must say it's an honour to have a comrade in the family. 112 00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:13,254 Thank you. I do hope I'm not a disappointment. 113 00:09:13,382 --> 00:09:15,835 - Far from it. - And my two little blisters. 114 00:09:15,966 --> 00:09:17,624 Hilda and Marion. 115 00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:20,424 Aren't you the woman who won the Grand Prix? 116 00:09:20,549 --> 00:09:22,208 First place, before disqualification. 117 00:09:22,341 --> 00:09:26,335 Apparently you need chest hair to change gears in Monaco. 118 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:30,377 I saw you in the paper. I cut your head out. I could just die! 119 00:09:32,217 --> 00:09:36,163 Furber, that suitcase to the drawing room, and do be careful. 120 00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:39,417 Marion... Golly, you're not a bit like what we imagined. 121 00:09:39,550 --> 00:09:42,465 Somewhat older, I expect. Awfully sorry about that. 122 00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:47,504 Before the frostbite sets in... 123 00:09:47,634 --> 00:09:51,924 I'm looking forward to getting acquainted with the mother of my "Panda". 124 00:09:52,051 --> 00:09:55,085 You'll find me quite uncomplicated, I'm afraid. 125 00:09:55,218 --> 00:09:57,209 Oh! What are you doing? 126 00:09:57,343 --> 00:09:59,499 Carrying you over the finish line. 127 00:10:03,552 --> 00:10:06,633 Venus de Milo meet my Venus Detroit. 128 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,301 Oh, hello. 129 00:10:08,427 --> 00:10:10,750 Mother's turned our old nursery into a boudoir. 130 00:10:10,885 --> 00:10:12,959 I wouldn't exactly call it a boudoir, Hilda. 131 00:10:13,094 --> 00:10:16,258 Marvellous. All those grubby memories of Little Johnnie. 132 00:10:16,386 --> 00:10:18,460 We had no time to raid the hothouse. 133 00:10:18,594 --> 00:10:20,834 I only hope we can make you comfortable. 134 00:10:20,969 --> 00:10:24,169 Don't go to any trouble. We're only staying a few days. 135 00:10:26,511 --> 00:10:28,668 - Aren't we, Johnnie? - Of course. 136 00:10:28,803 --> 00:10:31,090 And for our next surprise... 137 00:10:35,012 --> 00:10:37,880 What on earth is that? 138 00:10:39,179 --> 00:10:41,714 His master's voice! A wedding gift from us to you all. 139 00:10:41,845 --> 00:10:45,460 How divine! You should've got married years ago! 140 00:10:45,596 --> 00:10:52,552 another sunny honeymoon 141 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:58,794 for making whoopee... 142 00:11:00,972 --> 00:11:03,295 Come on, little blister. Twirl for me. 143 00:11:09,347 --> 00:11:14,218 Oh, a Continental education. Not all of us have been so fortunate. 144 00:11:14,347 --> 00:11:17,511 An emotional depiction of the French postal service, Mrs Whittaker. 145 00:11:17,639 --> 00:11:20,472 Come now, not Mrs Whittaker. It's "Mother" now. 146 00:11:20,598 --> 00:11:23,465 I don't think we're quite ready for that yet. 147 00:11:23,598 --> 00:11:29,796 Since time is so clearly against us, why don't you show Larita up to the nursery? 148 00:11:29,931 --> 00:11:32,420 Dinner's at 8:00. 149 00:11:32,557 --> 00:11:35,590 - You didn't tell them? - One bombshell at a time, darling. 150 00:11:35,723 --> 00:11:40,262 That's not fair! Your poor mother. How long are we staying? 151 00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:42,298 A few days? 152 00:11:42,432 --> 00:11:47,255 I shoulder the shortcomings of this family and what do I get in return? A few days! 153 00:11:47,391 --> 00:11:50,093 Look at her. What am I supposed to do with the bauble of a woman? 154 00:11:50,224 --> 00:11:52,381 - Hang her? - I think she's splendid. 155 00:11:52,516 --> 00:11:56,095 - Do you, Hilda? Well, we can all relax. - She's not what I expected. 156 00:11:56,225 --> 00:11:57,966 She's exactly what I expected. 157 00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:01,548 - Surely not exactly? She wasn't drunk. - Oh, very funny, Jim. 158 00:12:01,683 --> 00:12:05,298 - Reduce this to the burlesque. - She looks so expensive! 159 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,887 - Very. - Hmm. I like her. 160 00:12:08,017 --> 00:12:10,719 Yes, Jim. We all know what you like. 161 00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:12,224 Mother! 162 00:12:19,059 --> 00:12:21,630 Oh, we have all been sent to our "wombs". 163 00:12:23,934 --> 00:12:27,051 - And so toasty. - Economics in action. 164 00:12:27,185 --> 00:12:30,136 She keeps half the house closed to save on heating. 165 00:12:30,268 --> 00:12:32,887 That explains the frosty reception. 166 00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:36,349 Well, darling. Let me warm you up. 167 00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:01,726 - Well? - She's lovely, I'm very proud of you. 168 00:13:01,853 --> 00:13:03,678 Thanks, Father. 169 00:13:03,812 --> 00:13:07,971 John? How long is a few days? 170 00:13:08,104 --> 00:13:11,185 Mother, Larita and I would like to find a home in London. 171 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:15,009 - But this is your home. - A home of their own. 172 00:13:17,146 --> 00:13:19,432 But Panda, we need you here. 173 00:13:19,563 --> 00:13:23,936 Since you went off around the Riviera, we've had to let go of six more people. 174 00:13:24,063 --> 00:13:26,303 If you'd just listened to me and taken on some machinery. 175 00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:29,851 Wouldn't that be a good idea? I could run the entire estate single-handedly. 176 00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:33,677 Congratulations on your insight and your spontaneity. 177 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:37,096 Sarah and Philip are coming to dinner tonight, and I have got a table plan 178 00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:39,553 that will take the League of Nations to unravel. 179 00:13:39,689 --> 00:13:44,642 - Tonight? That's absolutely splendid! - Don't be so fickle in your affections. 180 00:13:44,772 --> 00:13:47,059 Sarah might not be as accommodating as you expect. 181 00:13:47,189 --> 00:13:49,144 Codswallop. She'll be delighted. 182 00:13:49,273 --> 00:13:53,432 If mother was so desperate for her hand in marriage, she should've asked herself! 183 00:13:53,564 --> 00:13:55,721 Strange as it may seem, I agree with your sister. 184 00:13:55,856 --> 00:13:57,598 I think you're wrong. 185 00:13:57,731 --> 00:14:01,144 On certain things, yes. Call her. 186 00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:02,980 - Really? - Really. 187 00:14:03,107 --> 00:14:07,350 Really! If Edgar were here, he'd do the manly thing. 188 00:14:07,482 --> 00:14:09,971 What? Run away? 189 00:14:14,066 --> 00:14:15,891 Here they come! 190 00:14:30,316 --> 00:14:34,180 And the chequered flag goes to... Fast work, John! 191 00:14:34,317 --> 00:14:38,476 I should've written, but it happened so fast, I didn't know where I was. 192 00:14:38,609 --> 00:14:40,813 In Larita's arms, it seems. 193 00:14:40,942 --> 00:14:44,225 - Please don't be disappointed. - Of course I'm disappointed. 194 00:14:44,359 --> 00:14:47,274 But tell me you're happy, and I'll tell you you're forgiven. 195 00:14:47,401 --> 00:14:51,016 you're Mahatma Gandhi! 196 00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:53,722 Panda, don't break out the brandy just yet. 197 00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:55,601 The hell we're not. 198 00:14:55,735 --> 00:14:59,811 - Have I missed something? - Let sleeping cows stand. 199 00:14:59,943 --> 00:15:01,851 Oh, you plonker! 200 00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:05,066 Rule one, push sleeping cow. 201 00:15:05,193 --> 00:15:07,599 Rule two, get out of the way. 202 00:15:07,735 --> 00:15:10,306 Rule three, remember rule two. 203 00:15:10,444 --> 00:15:13,015 Sarah! It's so lovely to see you. 204 00:15:13,152 --> 00:15:15,439 I hear your poor father is not having a good day. 205 00:15:15,569 --> 00:15:18,140 I'm afraid not. He sends his love. 206 00:15:18,278 --> 00:15:21,690 You are a jolly good sport, turning up like this, that's all I can say. 207 00:15:21,819 --> 00:15:25,066 I wouldn't miss it for the world. Larita is such a pretty name. 208 00:15:25,195 --> 00:15:28,607 Yes. Excellent for musical comedy. Hilda! 209 00:15:28,736 --> 00:15:31,853 - I hear the cow's in a terrible way. - I've sent flowers. 210 00:15:31,987 --> 00:15:34,191 And did she eat them? Touche! 211 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,145 Good evening to you all. 212 00:15:36,987 --> 00:15:39,024 Nobody told me tonight was fancy dress! 213 00:15:39,154 --> 00:15:42,187 Then why have you come as the village idiot? 214 00:15:43,737 --> 00:15:46,143 I think I'm snagged. 215 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,519 Let me help you with that. 216 00:15:51,238 --> 00:15:52,979 Holy mother! 217 00:15:54,196 --> 00:15:59,399 Panda? You're forgiven... tenfold. 218 00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:10,895 Sarah Hurst, I'd like to introduce my wife, Larita Whittaker. 219 00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:14,064 Gosh, I do like the sound of that. 220 00:16:14,197 --> 00:16:16,402 Sarah... finally. 221 00:16:16,531 --> 00:16:20,146 - Johnnie talks about you constantly. - How very annoying for you. 222 00:16:20,281 --> 00:16:25,318 - I hope we can be friends. - We already are. Congratulations. 223 00:16:25,448 --> 00:16:28,446 Er... I'd like to be friends, too. 224 00:16:28,573 --> 00:16:32,235 - Larita, my tiresome brother... - The dishonourable Philip Hurst. 225 00:16:32,365 --> 00:16:34,770 Charmed, my dear lady. Indeed. 226 00:16:34,907 --> 00:16:37,312 Philip, won't you escort me in? 227 00:16:37,449 --> 00:16:40,696 Of course, my beautiful, little Sausage Fingers. 228 00:16:40,824 --> 00:16:43,443 That's whet my appetite. Shall we adjourn to the dining room? 229 00:16:43,574 --> 00:16:45,565 And toast my beautiful bride. 230 00:16:45,699 --> 00:16:48,401 Had we known there was to be a wedding reception, 231 00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:51,021 we could've lashed out on taffeta! 232 00:16:51,158 --> 00:16:54,986 She's a lot like drowning: quite pleasant once you stop struggling. 233 00:16:55,116 --> 00:16:59,324 So, John, was Larita's family able to attend the wedding? 234 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,735 More cabbage, Madam? 235 00:17:07,867 --> 00:17:10,486 There's lots to do, Larita. You ride, don't you? 236 00:17:10,617 --> 00:17:12,940 Boats, cars or planes? 237 00:17:13,076 --> 00:17:16,524 - No, horses, silly. - Ah, yes, horses. 238 00:17:16,659 --> 00:17:19,361 Faulty steering and unreliable brakes. 239 00:17:20,701 --> 00:17:22,656 I'm stealing that for Stirrup Cup! 240 00:17:22,784 --> 00:17:24,822 - Stirrup what? - Cup. 241 00:17:24,951 --> 00:17:27,700 Every November, Philip and Sarah's family host the hunt. 242 00:17:27,826 --> 00:17:30,066 Wait until you meet their father, Lord Hurst, he's terrific. 243 00:17:30,202 --> 00:17:34,030 - And Lady Hurst? - Was terrific, until she... stopped. 244 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:37,944 - Stopped what? - Living. 245 00:17:38,994 --> 00:17:41,364 Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that. 246 00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:47,198 Between father's polio and Philip's mania for tipping cows... 247 00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:49,283 Can we please just drop the cows? 248 00:17:49,411 --> 00:17:51,900 I think we'll give the fox a break this year. 249 00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:56,409 Oh, no hunt? Mrs Winston gave me her saddle. I've had a wax. 250 00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:01,408 Your father and I conspired to make John the Master of the Hunt. 251 00:18:01,537 --> 00:18:04,784 People come from far and wide. It's such a shame to disappoint them. 252 00:18:04,912 --> 00:18:06,654 Very thoughtful, Mother. 253 00:18:06,787 --> 00:18:09,489 You do hunt, I take it, Larita? 254 00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:12,702 Hypocrites, gossips or defenceless animals? 255 00:18:12,829 --> 00:18:14,108 Bravo! 256 00:18:14,246 --> 00:18:16,283 You wouldn't get her to the start. 257 00:18:16,412 --> 00:18:20,027 We have another conscientious objector, Father. 258 00:18:20,163 --> 00:18:24,406 Company! Do you object to the circus or the slaughter, Major? 259 00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:26,943 I support Sheppard's position on pacifism. 260 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,943 Good for you. So, when does the carnage begin? 261 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,742 After the War Widow's Revue, but before the craft fair, 262 00:18:34,872 --> 00:18:36,744 in between the Dog Show and the shoot. 263 00:18:36,872 --> 00:18:41,197 Don't forget the highlight. Mother's Christmas dance is the hot ticket. 264 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:44,494 She's ordered the most exquisite Japanese lanterns. 265 00:18:44,622 --> 00:18:47,193 - From Japan? - No, Fortnum and Mason's. 266 00:18:47,331 --> 00:18:50,992 Oh, yes. Prepare for a whirlwind, Larita. 267 00:18:52,373 --> 00:18:54,079 I'm breathless already. 268 00:18:57,998 --> 00:19:01,162 I won't make it to Christmas. You won't need to. 269 00:19:01,290 --> 00:19:03,825 I won't make it to breakfast! What were we just eating? 270 00:19:03,957 --> 00:19:06,528 The lumpy grey and beige concoction? 271 00:19:06,665 --> 00:19:10,789 Oh, yes. That's the word I was looking for... "greige". 272 00:19:10,915 --> 00:19:14,328 Absolutely no idea. But it is the speciality of the house. 273 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:17,740 Incoming! Have you met my namesake? He's very good in bed. 274 00:19:17,874 --> 00:19:20,541 - Shh! They'll hear you. - I don't care. 275 00:19:20,666 --> 00:19:22,289 I do. 276 00:19:23,541 --> 00:19:26,290 I know we need the heat, but please don't smoke. 277 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,786 Mother's clairvoyant about these things. 278 00:19:28,916 --> 00:19:31,370 She loathes me, Johnnie. 279 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:35,031 I'm a gold-digger, burrowing in from the land of opportunists. 280 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,989 Your father's an interesting study, though. 281 00:19:39,125 --> 00:19:41,199 Quietly sardonic. I like that in a man. 282 00:19:41,334 --> 00:19:44,616 That won't earn you many brownie points under this roof. 283 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:49,830 After the Armistice, Father didn't come straight home. 284 00:19:49,959 --> 00:19:53,372 He caroused around France and Italy, drinking, having affairs... 285 00:19:53,501 --> 00:19:56,949 A lot of men did similar... couldn't settle down. 286 00:19:57,085 --> 00:20:00,451 - Why didn't she go after him? - A question of pride. 287 00:20:00,585 --> 00:20:02,706 He finally just wandered home. 288 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:06,035 Still a bit of a sore point. We try not to speak about it. 289 00:20:06,169 --> 00:20:07,578 Except in public. 290 00:20:07,710 --> 00:20:10,625 You see, she feels she's missed out on something. 291 00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:13,323 Which means, of course, she's missed out on everything. 292 00:20:13,461 --> 00:20:16,909 Exactly. The war robbed her of all her expectations. 293 00:20:17,044 --> 00:20:19,746 She takes one look at a woman like you... 294 00:20:19,878 --> 00:20:23,125 The harlot stealing into the nursery... 295 00:20:23,253 --> 00:20:25,409 The delicious concubine... 296 00:20:25,545 --> 00:20:27,535 ...with the delectable ears... 297 00:20:28,336 --> 00:20:29,829 ...nose... 298 00:20:30,378 --> 00:20:31,836 ...neck. 299 00:20:33,670 --> 00:20:35,163 I could just... 300 00:20:36,545 --> 00:20:38,003 ...eat you. 301 00:20:38,129 --> 00:20:40,534 After that meal I'm not surprised. 302 00:20:48,838 --> 00:20:53,709 303 00:21:34,798 --> 00:21:39,456 Dear Lord, thank you for bringing John and his floozy home safely. 304 00:21:48,133 --> 00:21:51,249 'Hmm... John!' 305 00:22:00,175 --> 00:22:03,872 - Why is Larita always so late? - You can't hurry perfection. 306 00:22:04,008 --> 00:22:08,382 - Edgar was never late for a meal. - He's missed a few lately. 307 00:22:08,509 --> 00:22:12,088 Good morning. How are we all on this glorious day? 308 00:22:12,217 --> 00:22:15,914 There she is! Morning, darling. 309 00:22:18,884 --> 00:22:21,089 What would Madam like for breakfast? 310 00:22:21,843 --> 00:22:24,876 I think Madam will get more sustenance from a kipper. 311 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:28,257 - But it won't be as much fun. - Aren't you riding with us? 312 00:22:28,385 --> 00:22:30,708 Darling, I think it's about high time 313 00:22:30,843 --> 00:22:34,789 that your mother and I have an intimate tete-a-tete. 314 00:22:34,927 --> 00:22:38,375 - Just us girls. - Lovely. 315 00:22:38,510 --> 00:22:40,916 What a frightening thought. 316 00:22:43,302 --> 00:22:50,508 Two hemispheres under one roof. Papua New Guinea, India, the Argentine. 317 00:22:54,053 --> 00:22:56,968 I may not have travelled, but the world has come to me. 318 00:22:57,095 --> 00:23:00,342 Are you coming down with something? 319 00:23:00,470 --> 00:23:03,670 Pollen. But if I hold my breath long enough... 320 00:23:03,803 --> 00:23:05,545 How peculiar. 321 00:23:05,679 --> 00:23:07,965 Which is why we should get to know one another. 322 00:23:08,095 --> 00:23:11,010 - Where does one start? - Shall I make headway? 323 00:23:11,137 --> 00:23:14,717 I was born in Detroit. My father worked in the steel plant. 324 00:23:14,846 --> 00:23:17,513 He was one of the first lured over to Henry Ford. 325 00:23:17,638 --> 00:23:19,628 Ah, hence the love of motoring? 326 00:23:19,763 --> 00:23:22,216 Yes, but I also love animals. 327 00:23:22,346 --> 00:23:24,502 I am a city girl. I take chickens to the vet. 328 00:23:24,638 --> 00:23:26,261 Oh! 329 00:23:26,388 --> 00:23:30,512 You can't be squeamish about livestock now that you are living in the country. 330 00:23:30,638 --> 00:23:32,712 Which was never my intention. 331 00:23:32,847 --> 00:23:35,715 I was happily carving out a niche for myself on the race circuit 332 00:23:35,847 --> 00:23:40,137 when I was unexpectedly flagged down by someone irresistible. 333 00:23:41,931 --> 00:23:45,794 Remarrying was the farthest thing from my mind. 334 00:23:47,806 --> 00:23:49,512 I see... 335 00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:53,798 May I ask...? 336 00:23:54,723 --> 00:23:58,302 Oh, dead, unfortunately. No children. 337 00:23:58,431 --> 00:24:02,425 Oh... How disappointing for you. 338 00:24:02,557 --> 00:24:04,927 Still, he provided well, though? 339 00:24:05,057 --> 00:24:09,845 Yes, but there were a lot of hidden costs associated with his passing. 340 00:24:09,974 --> 00:24:14,964 Oh, that beautiful motor car... Surely, you must have independent means? 341 00:24:15,099 --> 00:24:17,801 I'm more than happy to discuss my means, 342 00:24:17,933 --> 00:24:20,219 but I think you'll be a tad disappointed. 343 00:24:20,349 --> 00:24:22,719 The car is my sole source of income. 344 00:24:22,849 --> 00:24:26,013 Which makes living in London an imperative. 345 00:24:26,141 --> 00:24:28,630 But what will John do in the city? 346 00:24:28,766 --> 00:24:31,136 Work. It's not uncommon. 347 00:24:31,267 --> 00:24:32,925 Oh! 348 00:24:34,017 --> 00:24:37,098 John was brought up in the country, Larita. 349 00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:39,346 Where will he work? 350 00:24:39,475 --> 00:24:43,386 Chalk Farm, perhaps? Or St-Martin-In-The-Fields? 351 00:24:43,517 --> 00:24:47,974 I know this is not perfect so that's why I'm asking for your guidance. 352 00:24:48,101 --> 00:24:51,383 So, please, how can I make this pleasant for everybody? 353 00:24:51,518 --> 00:24:56,341 Well, erm... wartime experience dictates that you keep your head down 354 00:24:56,476 --> 00:24:58,432 and you fit in as well as you can. 355 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:03,301 - Oh, there's a war on? - Oh, no... not necessarily. 356 00:25:04,227 --> 00:25:07,391 Australian mimosa. Mmm... beautiful. 357 00:25:08,685 --> 00:25:10,972 Oh... 358 00:25:15,977 --> 00:25:20,185 And then the British troops opened fire... How grizzly! 359 00:25:20,311 --> 00:25:23,807 - How'd it go, Mother? - Oh, marvellous! 360 00:25:23,936 --> 00:25:25,180 Marvellous. 361 00:25:31,270 --> 00:25:33,344 Thanks for the invitation! 362 00:25:41,396 --> 00:25:43,351 Thanks for the invitation! 363 00:25:43,479 --> 00:25:46,015 Oh, it's Lord Hurst! 364 00:25:46,146 --> 00:25:49,061 I fear storm clouds are gathering, Mrs Whit. 365 00:25:49,188 --> 00:25:51,309 Stop being maudlin, Father. 366 00:25:51,438 --> 00:25:53,594 - It's the future! - Spanner! 367 00:25:53,730 --> 00:25:58,186 Father, allow me to introduce Panda's new chauffeuse. 368 00:25:58,313 --> 00:26:01,975 - Lovely La-La-Larita. - Watch it, Philip. 369 00:26:02,105 --> 00:26:05,471 My son is prone to fabrication, but I can see on this occasion 370 00:26:05,605 --> 00:26:08,307 he has been perfectly frank, Mrs Whittaker. 371 00:26:09,439 --> 00:26:13,433 Yes, that's right. There are two of us now. 372 00:26:13,564 --> 00:26:16,266 No shortage of wits around here any more. 373 00:26:16,397 --> 00:26:19,929 OK, stand back! I give you, the future! 374 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,391 All right, John. You can take my baby out for a spin. 375 00:26:29,107 --> 00:26:32,519 Ha-ha! Allergies. She inflates like a puffer fish. 376 00:26:32,648 --> 00:26:35,184 You just want to squeeze her until she pops. 377 00:26:35,315 --> 00:26:38,100 378 00:26:42,607 --> 00:26:45,013 379 00:26:46,649 --> 00:26:49,731 it's better than digging a ditch 380 00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:53,270 381 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,102 382 00:26:56,233 --> 00:26:58,982 383 00:27:00,025 --> 00:27:02,644 384 00:27:14,609 --> 00:27:17,442 The missus is a bit trigger-happy this week. 385 00:27:17,568 --> 00:27:19,523 Bleeding tinnitus is killing me. 386 00:27:19,651 --> 00:27:23,941 I like the new Mrs Whit. Reminds me of the old one before the war. 387 00:27:24,068 --> 00:27:27,268 Only more reasonable. You can tell she's run her own household. 388 00:27:27,401 --> 00:27:29,108 Oh, be silent! 389 00:27:29,235 --> 00:27:33,015 Good morning, Furber, Jackson, Millie, and...? 390 00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:35,936 Cook, I can't call you a verb. Your name? 391 00:27:36,777 --> 00:27:38,234 Beatrice. 392 00:27:41,777 --> 00:27:45,818 All right, all right... it's Doris. Sorry, Madam. 393 00:27:45,944 --> 00:27:48,480 Always wanted to be called Beatrice. 394 00:27:48,611 --> 00:27:53,269 Well, Beatrice, would you mind if I helped myself in the mornings? 395 00:27:53,403 --> 00:27:56,520 I fear I shall be rising later and later. 396 00:27:56,653 --> 00:27:59,142 Well... if it pleases, Mrs Whit. 397 00:28:01,362 --> 00:28:03,234 The point of the bell? 398 00:28:03,362 --> 00:28:06,562 When I ring it, you come to me, not the other way round! 399 00:28:07,695 --> 00:28:09,816 Larita. May I have a word? 400 00:28:11,029 --> 00:28:12,735 Come along! 401 00:28:15,654 --> 00:28:18,569 Would you please refrain from chatting to the staff? 402 00:28:18,696 --> 00:28:21,445 It's chore enough trying to keep this motley crew together. 403 00:28:21,571 --> 00:28:25,647 I had a brilliant French maid in Paris. Perhaps I should send for her? 404 00:28:25,780 --> 00:28:28,185 Thank you, no... erm... 405 00:28:28,321 --> 00:28:32,695 I'd prefer to keep English the first language in this household. 406 00:28:32,822 --> 00:28:34,445 Ah, there you are. 407 00:28:34,572 --> 00:28:37,061 I say! Anyone for tennis? 408 00:28:37,197 --> 00:28:38,524 Yes. You! 409 00:28:38,655 --> 00:28:41,061 John, Shackleton wouldn't let a dog out today! 410 00:28:41,197 --> 00:28:43,271 The fog has lifted and Whittakers don't do winter. 411 00:28:43,406 --> 00:28:46,653 You go ahead, darling. I'll play with myself. 412 00:28:46,781 --> 00:28:49,898 - No, really. I'm a lot of fun. - Ooh... 413 00:28:50,031 --> 00:28:52,733 John! It's brass monkeys out here! 414 00:28:56,573 --> 00:29:00,152 Day one of the Antarctic Open. Mister Whittaker to serve. 415 00:29:03,490 --> 00:29:05,694 - Hole in one! - Deuce. 416 00:29:05,824 --> 00:29:09,770 I see your pair of deuces and I raise you a tenner. 417 00:29:09,907 --> 00:29:12,858 The Titanic could have hit that! 418 00:29:12,991 --> 00:29:16,901 Sarah, you're an embarrassment to the family name. I'll have you killed. 419 00:29:17,033 --> 00:29:20,730 Good God! What's wrong with you? No! Stop now! 420 00:29:20,866 --> 00:29:24,066 - Stop, everybody! Listen! - Shoot the court jester! 421 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:28,146 - Nice backhand! - Is that a backhand compliment? 422 00:29:28,283 --> 00:29:31,483 go out in the midday sun! 423 00:29:31,617 --> 00:29:35,113 the Chinese wouldn't dare to 424 00:29:35,242 --> 00:29:38,157 from twelve to one 425 00:29:38,284 --> 00:29:41,614 426 00:29:41,742 --> 00:29:45,238 Laurel and Hardy step up to the crease. The fillies are lining up. 427 00:29:45,367 --> 00:29:49,148 Miss Hilda Whittaker looking most fetching in her feed bag and bridle! 428 00:29:55,951 --> 00:29:58,108 One woman's heaven... 429 00:29:59,493 --> 00:30:01,365 Oh, she's absolutely beautiful. 430 00:30:03,702 --> 00:30:07,363 Broken, tarnished and completely useless. 431 00:30:08,660 --> 00:30:12,701 Things guaranteed to keep my wife at bay. 432 00:30:12,827 --> 00:30:14,534 May I? 433 00:30:14,661 --> 00:30:17,066 If you don't mind getting your hands dirty. 434 00:30:17,203 --> 00:30:21,031 In Detroit, what we lack in dirt, we make up for in filth. 435 00:30:21,161 --> 00:30:24,278 Your first husband from that neck of the woods? 436 00:30:24,411 --> 00:30:26,900 Oh... well, word gets about. 437 00:30:29,203 --> 00:30:31,988 - So where is he now? - Dead. 438 00:30:34,162 --> 00:30:36,034 Cancer. 439 00:30:36,162 --> 00:30:38,485 He was a fair bit older than me. 440 00:30:38,620 --> 00:30:42,365 I spent a while playing the unmerry widow but the black wore thin. 441 00:30:43,246 --> 00:30:46,943 - You didn't care for him, I gather? - I cared too much. 442 00:30:47,079 --> 00:30:50,908 Life was just such an unpleasant experience for the man, I... 443 00:30:51,496 --> 00:30:54,779 I'd be a liar to say I wasn't glad when he was relieved of it. 444 00:31:03,372 --> 00:31:06,738 - When were you last in France? - Just after the war? 445 00:31:06,872 --> 00:31:08,827 On a personal reconnaissance, 446 00:31:08,955 --> 00:31:13,779 trying to ascertain what exactly all those fine young men had died for. 447 00:31:15,414 --> 00:31:18,163 Apparently, I'm of the romantic Lost Generation. 448 00:31:19,456 --> 00:31:21,198 What did you lose? 449 00:31:22,206 --> 00:31:24,280 I'm not sure. 450 00:32:22,418 --> 00:32:24,871 Oh, hello... hello. 451 00:32:25,001 --> 00:32:28,830 Who was the tiny tank? Who's a pretty, little, cheeky chorizo? 452 00:32:30,127 --> 00:32:33,575 On bended knees, please come and play with me. 453 00:32:33,710 --> 00:32:35,914 Johnnie dear, you know how much I love you, 454 00:32:36,044 --> 00:32:39,741 so please try to take this in the best possible light. 455 00:32:39,877 --> 00:32:43,953 I'm getting a machine gun and mowing down your entire family. 456 00:32:44,086 --> 00:32:47,701 That's fairly disappointing. I thought you and Father were getting along. 457 00:32:47,836 --> 00:32:50,455 Yes, I might spare the men folk. 458 00:32:50,586 --> 00:32:54,283 But it's awfully dispiriting. We have absolutely no privacy here. 459 00:32:54,420 --> 00:32:56,908 I never needed any privacy before. This is my home. 460 00:32:57,045 --> 00:32:59,747 It's not mine. And I very much want one. 461 00:33:01,170 --> 00:33:06,242 no chaperone can get our number 462 00:33:06,379 --> 00:33:10,503 let's misbehave 463 00:33:13,712 --> 00:33:16,415 Timing is everything, you little brute! 464 00:33:16,546 --> 00:33:19,828 Umpire at least. Philip is pining for you. 465 00:33:19,963 --> 00:33:23,873 If I knew you played tennis, I never would've signed the marriage certificate! 466 00:33:24,005 --> 00:33:25,746 Ow! 467 00:33:39,047 --> 00:33:41,583 Not a bad day for it. 468 00:33:41,714 --> 00:33:43,504 Reading. 469 00:33:43,631 --> 00:33:46,499 My fiance, Edgar, was always hiding behind books. 470 00:33:46,631 --> 00:33:51,123 Erm... you're needed on the tennis court. John was just asking after you. 471 00:33:51,256 --> 00:33:54,456 Would you like to see a photo of him... my Edgar? 472 00:33:54,590 --> 00:33:55,833 Poppy! 473 00:33:59,090 --> 00:34:02,254 - That's Enrico Caruso. - Who's dead, I know that... 474 00:34:02,382 --> 00:34:05,830 But if you ignore the nose and the mouth... 475 00:34:05,965 --> 00:34:09,378 ...and the ears... there's a striking resemblance. 476 00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:13,420 I don't actually have a picture of Edgar. 477 00:34:14,841 --> 00:34:16,878 Well... mustn't keep you. 478 00:34:17,008 --> 00:34:21,048 No, no. Of course. Looking forward to getting stuck in to a good book. 479 00:34:21,174 --> 00:34:23,212 Poppy! 480 00:34:23,341 --> 00:34:26,044 - You haven't seen the beast, have you? - The dog? 481 00:34:26,175 --> 00:34:28,498 Nope. I haven't. 482 00:34:30,217 --> 00:34:31,674 Poppy! 483 00:34:37,592 --> 00:34:41,088 Oh, poor, poor Poppy. I'm so sorry. 484 00:34:41,217 --> 00:34:42,924 Larita! 485 00:34:45,259 --> 00:34:49,798 I've been sent in to badger you. Please help us make up doubles? 486 00:34:49,926 --> 00:34:54,584 Oh, Hilda, I can't. I'm only good for the cocktails between sets. 487 00:34:54,718 --> 00:34:59,043 - We're between sets now. - You can't possibly want me on court. 488 00:35:00,343 --> 00:35:02,962 Philip! Go get him. 489 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,716 Poppy! 490 00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:11,295 Poppy! 491 00:35:11,427 --> 00:35:12,968 Poppy! 492 00:35:16,511 --> 00:35:18,336 - What are you doing? - Reading. 493 00:35:18,469 --> 00:35:21,503 "Sodom and Gomorrah: A Biblical Story". 494 00:35:21,636 --> 00:35:24,172 Who gave you this filth? 495 00:35:27,762 --> 00:35:30,962 Go and find the dog! Larita! 496 00:35:33,429 --> 00:35:37,375 Please refrain from giving my daughter pornographic literature. 497 00:35:37,512 --> 00:35:39,005 Yes, yes, of course. 498 00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:41,804 Oh, and I've volunteered you and Hilda 499 00:35:41,929 --> 00:35:45,626 to perform the Dance of the Dying Swan for the War Widows' Revue. 500 00:35:45,763 --> 00:35:47,588 We're short on numbers. 501 00:35:47,721 --> 00:35:50,174 Lovely. Anything to help. 502 00:35:50,304 --> 00:35:51,963 Have you seen the dog? 503 00:35:52,096 --> 00:35:54,253 No. Not recently. 504 00:35:54,388 --> 00:35:58,252 Probably out seizing the sunshine like everyone else. 505 00:36:02,138 --> 00:36:04,010 Poppy! 506 00:36:06,555 --> 00:36:08,013 Furber! 507 00:36:12,264 --> 00:36:15,795 Oh, it's you, Madam. I'm sorry. Can I get you anything? 508 00:36:15,931 --> 00:36:19,676 - A shovel. - Shovel. Of course. 509 00:36:20,389 --> 00:36:22,925 Go and get Philip a hot toddy. 510 00:36:23,056 --> 00:36:29,302 - Philip. You look so... so... so... - The suspense is killing me. 511 00:36:29,432 --> 00:36:31,008 Poppy! 512 00:36:31,723 --> 00:36:34,294 - Oh... sorry. - It's fine. 513 00:36:42,849 --> 00:36:45,468 Your brother is such a sharply honed twit. 514 00:36:48,141 --> 00:36:52,763 - Where's our beautiful cougar hiding? - Under a book, I expect. 515 00:36:52,891 --> 00:36:55,593 I wish she wouldn't slack indoors so much. 516 00:36:55,725 --> 00:36:59,386 Some people would kill to be indoors with Larita. 517 00:36:59,517 --> 00:37:01,591 She isn't built the same as us. 518 00:37:01,725 --> 00:37:03,680 Still, it is annoying, though. 519 00:37:03,809 --> 00:37:06,641 You're such a sport, always ready for anything. 520 00:37:06,767 --> 00:37:12,716 I haven't got Lari's beauty or charm or intelligence. 521 00:37:12,851 --> 00:37:15,553 - She is clever, isn't she? - Hmm... 522 00:37:15,684 --> 00:37:19,132 Clever... and bored. 523 00:37:19,268 --> 00:37:24,009 I don't understand it. I'm not bored, you're not bored, nobody else is bored. 524 00:37:24,143 --> 00:37:26,762 Your father is, out of his mind. 525 00:37:26,893 --> 00:37:28,801 Father was born bored. 526 00:37:29,768 --> 00:37:32,222 If only she made an effort to play along. 527 00:37:32,352 --> 00:37:34,923 Stop being so torturous, Panda. 528 00:37:35,060 --> 00:37:37,596 You had her playing charades last night. What more do you want? 529 00:37:37,727 --> 00:37:40,761 John! John? 530 00:37:45,811 --> 00:37:50,219 To tell the truth, I never really liked her. Crabby, snappy, little bitch... 531 00:37:51,228 --> 00:37:54,345 I didn't like the dog much, either. 532 00:37:56,436 --> 00:37:59,849 Poor Poppy. Casualty of war. 533 00:38:02,978 --> 00:38:05,432 If I may be so bold, Madam? 534 00:38:05,562 --> 00:38:09,770 These people ride horses. Lots of horses. 535 00:38:09,896 --> 00:38:12,810 It would be advantageous to do the same. 536 00:38:14,979 --> 00:38:17,977 And I thought Detroit was a tough town. 537 00:38:20,896 --> 00:38:27,972 538 00:38:29,063 --> 00:38:35,973 mystifies me... 539 00:38:39,647 --> 00:38:42,136 Oh, has your horse run out of gas? 540 00:38:51,398 --> 00:38:53,554 Oh, John, don't hurt it. 541 00:38:53,690 --> 00:38:58,726 Far from it. We've got a hunt coming up. Poor little mite needs a head start. 542 00:39:00,398 --> 00:39:02,354 Go on... run! 543 00:39:05,399 --> 00:39:08,978 So much to learn about each other. 544 00:39:10,732 --> 00:39:15,555 My curriculum vitae. The brook is the border of Sarah's property. 545 00:39:15,691 --> 00:39:19,981 Mother always imagined we'd join forces and invade Surrey. 546 00:39:22,191 --> 00:39:25,806 Oh, and how about those foot soldiers on high? 547 00:39:25,941 --> 00:39:30,267 That's Davis, Lord Hurst's man. And there's Lord Hurst... 548 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,640 Closely followed by my mother-in-law. 549 00:39:32,775 --> 00:39:35,560 I wonder what the devil they're surveying? 550 00:39:38,442 --> 00:39:41,773 Are you disappointed you didn't marry Sarah? 551 00:39:41,901 --> 00:39:45,681 Of course not. We've seen each other naked since we were one. 552 00:39:45,818 --> 00:39:49,065 She's part of the... the... the... scenery. 553 00:39:50,359 --> 00:39:52,895 You can hack it a little while longer, can't you? 554 00:39:53,026 --> 00:39:57,234 How long is a little? And don't say two weeks again. 555 00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,939 Well, there's the War Widows' Revue, the craft fair... 556 00:40:01,068 --> 00:40:02,691 ...the hunt. 557 00:40:02,819 --> 00:40:06,599 - The memorial service... - What memorial service? 558 00:40:08,485 --> 00:40:11,898 Friends, we are gathered here today 559 00:40:12,027 --> 00:40:16,021 in remembrance of our missing friend, Poppy. 560 00:40:16,153 --> 00:40:17,942 Oh, Poppy... 561 00:40:18,944 --> 00:40:22,524 Wherever you have chosen to sow your seeds, 562 00:40:22,653 --> 00:40:25,320 we pray that you are blooming. 563 00:40:25,445 --> 00:40:28,112 We pray that you have gone to a better place. 564 00:40:28,237 --> 00:40:31,733 Shame we don't know exactly where that place is... 565 00:40:31,862 --> 00:40:35,393 Anyway, now for a eulogy from Emily Dickinson, queen of mirth. 566 00:40:37,612 --> 00:40:42,435 "Because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me. 567 00:40:42,571 --> 00:40:46,481 "The carriage held but just ourselves and immortality. " 568 00:40:46,613 --> 00:40:51,400 Or maybe the carriage didn't stop and Poppy got squished. 569 00:40:51,530 --> 00:40:53,983 Scraped off the road and put in a sausage... 570 00:40:54,113 --> 00:40:56,945 Oh, Hilda! 571 00:41:05,155 --> 00:41:07,442 Thank you, Mr Gribble. 572 00:41:08,197 --> 00:41:11,777 Now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, 573 00:41:11,906 --> 00:41:16,398 behold Reverend Burton and Marion Whittaker 574 00:41:16,531 --> 00:41:21,686 as they reach for the scissors in "Samson and Delilah". 575 00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:36,487 Hark! I hear my husband snore! 576 00:41:37,740 --> 00:41:42,114 What the hell happened to Delilah? Looks like a sock full of oranges. 577 00:41:42,241 --> 00:41:48,522 I'll creep forth on padded foot and relieve him of his ample follicles. 578 00:42:12,201 --> 00:42:15,531 - How hilarious! - It's meant to be a tragedy! 579 00:42:15,659 --> 00:42:18,065 Then you succeeded beyond your wildest dreams. 580 00:42:18,201 --> 00:42:21,116 Your father seems to have a fan. 581 00:42:21,243 --> 00:42:24,609 Don't read too much into it. She was a godsend during mother's last months. 582 00:42:24,743 --> 00:42:27,492 Sometimes I wonder where they'd be without each other. 583 00:42:27,618 --> 00:42:30,107 My ample follicles are in dire need of a trim. 584 00:42:32,494 --> 00:42:36,239 I wouldn't taunt the artistes, my little dying swans. You're on next. 585 00:42:36,369 --> 00:42:40,197 I've encouraged my girls to undertake something a little more contemporary. 586 00:42:40,327 --> 00:42:43,112 Hilda and I seem to have a talent for the can-can. 587 00:42:43,244 --> 00:42:46,242 The traditional can-can, performed without underwear? 588 00:42:46,369 --> 00:42:49,817 - Oh, Philip! - Anything for you, Philip. 589 00:42:49,953 --> 00:42:51,659 Yes, anything. 590 00:42:51,786 --> 00:42:54,654 That'll raise a bit more than money for the war widows. 591 00:42:54,786 --> 00:42:58,235 - I'm doubling my donation. - Oh, Pinkie. 592 00:42:58,370 --> 00:43:00,657 Fans at the ready, gentlemen! 593 00:43:00,787 --> 00:43:03,904 All the way from gay Paris, 594 00:43:04,037 --> 00:43:06,952 I give you Miss Hilda Whittaker 595 00:43:07,079 --> 00:43:12,199 and, for her debut performance, Mrs John Whittaker 596 00:43:12,329 --> 00:43:15,493 doing 'The Can-Can'! 597 00:43:15,621 --> 00:43:17,576 Ooh! 598 00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,201 Ooh! 599 00:43:37,414 --> 00:43:39,819 Did... did you...? 600 00:43:42,456 --> 00:43:47,446 Is it my imagination, or is your daughter dancing without her scanties? 601 00:44:10,874 --> 00:44:12,248 Ow! 602 00:44:24,750 --> 00:44:26,539 Bravo! 603 00:44:44,959 --> 00:44:48,740 It's not Lari's fault. She said it was traditional! 604 00:44:48,876 --> 00:44:51,199 Philip said it, not Larita. And it was a joke. 605 00:44:51,335 --> 00:44:53,621 Everyone understood that except Nelly No Knickers here! 606 00:44:53,751 --> 00:44:57,532 Hilda isn't as experienced as your wife, John. No one is. 607 00:44:57,668 --> 00:45:00,868 If you're not prepared to have a straight talk to her, then I certainly am. 608 00:45:01,002 --> 00:45:03,039 Don't be ridiculous. You'll lose a finger. 609 00:45:03,169 --> 00:45:07,412 - Lord Hurst will never speak to me. - Rubbish. I saw you in the back fields. 610 00:45:07,544 --> 00:45:10,293 Preparing the jumps for the hunt! 611 00:45:10,419 --> 00:45:14,164 I'm completely humiliated! I'll never get a husband now! 612 00:45:14,294 --> 00:45:16,700 After tonight, I'd have thought they'll be lining up round the block. 613 00:45:16,836 --> 00:45:20,000 I hate her! Hate, hate, hate her! 614 00:45:21,753 --> 00:45:25,119 The advance notices are sensational, Mrs John. 615 00:45:35,545 --> 00:45:40,333 Is it my imagination or is the cutlery particularly deafening this evening? 616 00:45:40,462 --> 00:45:44,326 I don't know how many times I have to say this, Hilda. I am sorry. 617 00:45:44,463 --> 00:45:48,954 - That's easy for you to say. - It's surprisingly hard to be easy. 618 00:45:50,380 --> 00:45:54,243 - You're smiling, Jim. - God forbid, the wind might change. 619 00:45:56,963 --> 00:46:00,543 Hilda, if I had any inkling that you were going to take me seriously... 620 00:46:00,672 --> 00:46:02,911 You could have made an effort to enjoy it less. 621 00:46:03,047 --> 00:46:06,626 I had my underpants on. I was having a grand time. 622 00:46:07,922 --> 00:46:13,125 It's not fair! You've got two husbands, and I've had none. 623 00:46:13,256 --> 00:46:16,171 - Technically, I have one. - But you've had two. 624 00:46:16,298 --> 00:46:18,751 I've had two shoes and it's a great deal more practical. 625 00:46:18,881 --> 00:46:22,413 I dare say you've worn down more soles than that. 626 00:46:25,423 --> 00:46:27,414 John... 627 00:46:27,548 --> 00:46:31,128 Marion, Larita's first husband died of cancer. Stop being so callous. 628 00:46:31,257 --> 00:46:33,924 Oh, I'm sure Marion can appreciate the pain 629 00:46:34,049 --> 00:46:36,833 of watching a loved one slip through her fingers. 630 00:46:36,965 --> 00:46:38,956 She's scandalous! 631 00:46:40,299 --> 00:46:43,167 You should hear what they're saying about her in the village. 632 00:46:43,299 --> 00:46:45,539 Well, let's stop the wagging tongues, shall we? 633 00:46:45,674 --> 00:46:49,122 Is it true you've had as many lovers as they say? 634 00:46:51,591 --> 00:46:54,791 Of course it's not true, Mrs Whittaker. 635 00:46:54,925 --> 00:46:57,876 Hardly any of them actually loved me. 636 00:47:00,550 --> 00:47:03,750 That was uncalled for. I realise it was a joke, but still... 637 00:47:03,884 --> 00:47:08,043 - You threw me to the wolves in there. - Marion hardly constitutes wolves. 638 00:47:08,176 --> 00:47:12,216 All right, you threw me to the voles. Either way, you abandoned me. 639 00:47:12,342 --> 00:47:14,629 Your sisters need to be restrained. 640 00:47:14,759 --> 00:47:19,132 Restrained? Hilda breaks loose once and she's almost institutionalised. 641 00:47:19,259 --> 00:47:22,044 And poor old Marion... Edgar drops by for a cup of sugar, 642 00:47:22,176 --> 00:47:24,582 and mother has his name engraved on the family crypt. 643 00:47:24,718 --> 00:47:27,385 - I'm sorry but it really is very funny. - Hilarious! 644 00:47:27,510 --> 00:47:29,750 Welcome to the petrified circus. 645 00:47:29,885 --> 00:47:33,298 Meet the resident contortionist who can't bend any further. 646 00:47:33,427 --> 00:47:37,551 Then stop. Be yourself. Let them live in your spell. 647 00:47:37,677 --> 00:47:42,631 that you do so well... 648 00:47:42,761 --> 00:47:47,086 You're right, of course. I'm a hypocrite, pretending to be someone I'm not. 649 00:47:47,219 --> 00:47:50,052 Especially since it isn't working. 650 00:47:51,011 --> 00:47:54,543 What the devil has that dog dug up? 651 00:47:57,553 --> 00:47:59,627 Pilot, what have you got there? 652 00:48:01,387 --> 00:48:03,757 How could you not tell us? 653 00:48:03,887 --> 00:48:07,335 Marion, it was an accident. I am walking on eggshells here. 654 00:48:07,470 --> 00:48:12,093 And I believe I panicked. And once again, I'm very, very sorry. 655 00:48:12,221 --> 00:48:15,551 How could you do it? How could you? 656 00:48:15,679 --> 00:48:20,502 I imagine she lowered her full weight onto the Chihuahua beneath her. 657 00:48:22,388 --> 00:48:24,462 Marion, please. 658 00:48:24,596 --> 00:48:27,760 John, did you have anything to do with this? 659 00:48:27,888 --> 00:48:31,799 No. No, I was the sole perpetrator of Poppy's demise. 660 00:48:31,930 --> 00:48:34,881 And ever since I have been wracked with guilt. 661 00:48:35,389 --> 00:48:39,383 Please, please, please let me buy you a new dog. 662 00:48:40,597 --> 00:48:43,631 You might buy your loved ones in the United States, 663 00:48:43,764 --> 00:48:46,051 but you can't in the United Kingdom. 664 00:48:46,181 --> 00:48:47,508 How unfortunate. 665 00:48:47,639 --> 00:48:51,420 You could at least show some remorse. 666 00:48:51,556 --> 00:48:56,048 I am full of remorse. I just refuse to invest in amateur theatrics 667 00:48:56,182 --> 00:48:57,805 to convince you of my sincerity. 668 00:48:57,932 --> 00:49:01,132 That's not how I came off the assembly line. I'm sorry. 669 00:49:01,265 --> 00:49:02,971 I can't change. 670 00:49:03,099 --> 00:49:07,424 Not for you... not for anybody... any more. 671 00:49:10,432 --> 00:49:14,094 And I wouldn't want her any other way. So... 672 00:49:17,391 --> 00:49:22,214 - Madam, the dog. - Oh, stay back! Stay back! 673 00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:28,471 I knew it the second I laid eyes on her. She's a killer. 674 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,756 She sat on poor Poppy deliberately. 675 00:49:30,892 --> 00:49:33,594 Don't be ridiculous. Of course she didn't. 676 00:49:33,725 --> 00:49:38,134 My brother has married a dog murderer. She should be put down. 677 00:49:38,267 --> 00:49:40,175 Put through a divorce court. 678 00:49:40,309 --> 00:49:42,181 The Lord does not sanction divorce. 679 00:49:42,309 --> 00:49:45,675 The Lord is Almighty, Marion. He can sanction anything he likes. 680 00:49:45,809 --> 00:49:47,717 The sooner they move out the better. 681 00:49:47,851 --> 00:49:51,548 They move out? John isn't going anywhere. 682 00:49:51,685 --> 00:49:53,510 Watch and learn. 683 00:49:59,018 --> 00:50:02,301 It's so unfair. Why can't I have a room like this? 684 00:50:05,519 --> 00:50:08,849 I could die of envy! 685 00:50:08,977 --> 00:50:11,431 Laying to rest this tragic incident, 686 00:50:11,561 --> 00:50:15,471 we've had this splendid set of rooms made over for you, haven't we, Jim? 687 00:50:15,603 --> 00:50:18,803 Yes. My wife would like you to rest in peace. 688 00:50:18,936 --> 00:50:22,977 I even had an old friend of Johnnie's brought down from the attic. 689 00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:25,722 "Old Faithful Awaits His Master's Return". 690 00:50:25,853 --> 00:50:28,768 I used to sleep under that silly painting. 691 00:50:28,895 --> 00:50:31,727 Very comforting, I'm sure, but we're expected back in Mayfair. 692 00:50:31,854 --> 00:50:34,721 But these are the largest rooms in the house. 693 00:50:34,854 --> 00:50:36,928 You'll find nothing like it in London. 694 00:50:37,062 --> 00:50:39,136 - She has a point. - She always does. 695 00:50:39,271 --> 00:50:42,434 Sometimes I don't know why you ever did wander home. 696 00:50:42,562 --> 00:50:44,103 And miss all the fun? 697 00:50:44,729 --> 00:50:47,396 Cook would like to inform you, Mrs Whittaker, the bird is stuffed. 698 00:50:47,521 --> 00:50:49,311 Oh! 699 00:50:49,438 --> 00:50:51,512 What bird, hmm? 700 00:50:51,646 --> 00:50:54,561 Thursday is bubble and squeak. I hadn't made any arrangements. 701 00:50:54,688 --> 00:50:56,726 Oh, but I have! 702 00:51:02,189 --> 00:51:06,313 In appreciation of your understanding and for that delicious double bed. 703 00:51:06,439 --> 00:51:09,307 We'll think of you every time we use it. 704 00:51:16,523 --> 00:51:19,723 - What exactly are we celebrating? - Thanksgiving. 705 00:51:19,856 --> 00:51:21,894 Thanks for what, hmm? 706 00:51:22,023 --> 00:51:25,602 The annihilation of an entire indigenous people. 707 00:51:25,732 --> 00:51:28,646 A loving union of two great cultures. 708 00:51:28,773 --> 00:51:31,771 - Just like us. - How transcontinental. 709 00:51:31,899 --> 00:51:34,980 - I can't believe you got into the kitchen. - Beatrice did put up a fight. 710 00:51:35,107 --> 00:51:38,354 - But technically I outrank her. - Who's Beatrice? 711 00:51:38,482 --> 00:51:43,898 Your cook. Or now my undercook, since I'm qualified cordon bleu. 712 00:51:44,024 --> 00:51:46,181 That's a degree. 713 00:51:46,316 --> 00:51:50,890 Furber... take the vegetables down to the kitchen and tell Cook to cook them. 714 00:51:51,025 --> 00:51:55,517 No, Furber, thank you. I think I'll surprise my alimentary canal. 715 00:51:56,692 --> 00:52:00,188 Mother, if you don't mind, I'm going to eat my meal before it gets cold. 716 00:52:00,317 --> 00:52:02,354 Furber, I've changed my mind, bring it back! 717 00:52:02,484 --> 00:52:03,597 Me, too. 718 00:52:05,567 --> 00:52:07,641 Gobble, gobble! 719 00:52:12,901 --> 00:52:14,358 Yes! 720 00:52:18,318 --> 00:52:19,941 Here's a tip, Hilda. 721 00:52:20,068 --> 00:52:23,516 A sure way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Or his mother. 722 00:52:23,651 --> 00:52:28,025 Larita, look, I've found another likeness of Edgar. 723 00:52:28,152 --> 00:52:31,813 - Marion, this is Fatty Arbuckle. - Who's in jail, I know that. 724 00:52:31,944 --> 00:52:35,274 But if you cut out his cheeks and give him a bald patch, 725 00:52:35,402 --> 00:52:37,891 there's a striking resemblance... 726 00:52:38,027 --> 00:52:40,942 Edgar's away on a trip across the pond, 727 00:52:41,069 --> 00:52:44,020 sewing his wild oats, or something agricultural. 728 00:52:45,611 --> 00:52:49,557 - She's good, I'll give her that. - I think you're over-reacting. 729 00:52:56,278 --> 00:52:58,849 Lari? Lari! 730 00:52:59,862 --> 00:53:02,529 Not the vase! Not the vase! 731 00:53:02,654 --> 00:53:06,066 "Taking the corncockle buds and bee-kissed roses 732 00:53:06,195 --> 00:53:08,270 "roughly in his calloused hands, 733 00:53:08,404 --> 00:53:13,903 "his hot, moist tulip exploded in her river of delights... " 734 00:53:25,030 --> 00:53:26,985 Larita? 735 00:53:27,113 --> 00:53:29,234 Early Christmas present... 736 00:53:29,363 --> 00:53:32,610 - For you, darling. - Ooh, the mind boggles. 737 00:53:40,447 --> 00:53:41,905 Well, it's... it's... 738 00:53:42,031 --> 00:53:44,022 It's magnificent. It's monstrous! 739 00:53:44,156 --> 00:53:48,695 It's me. I posed for a young Spaniard. Don't you absolutely adore it? 740 00:53:48,823 --> 00:53:51,940 Very expressive, darling, but I can't quite see you in it. 741 00:53:52,073 --> 00:53:53,614 You can see everything else! 742 00:53:53,740 --> 00:53:56,489 You took your clothes off in front of a total stranger? 743 00:53:56,615 --> 00:54:00,479 - Of course she took her clothes off. - I think it's unholy. 744 00:54:00,615 --> 00:54:06,114 I'm not sure I approve of you being nude. You know, without... without me. 745 00:54:06,240 --> 00:54:07,698 Extraordinary. 746 00:54:08,866 --> 00:54:11,733 What exactly are you hoping to achieve? 747 00:54:11,866 --> 00:54:14,650 Just trying to get into the swing of things... Mother. 748 00:54:14,783 --> 00:54:20,613 Marvellous! Well, then, you'll be riding in the hunt with us, won't you? 749 00:54:20,741 --> 00:54:23,775 I might be persuaded if the painting stays. 750 00:54:23,908 --> 00:54:25,650 - Hunt. - Paint. 751 00:54:25,783 --> 00:54:27,525 - Hunt. - Paint. 752 00:54:27,658 --> 00:54:29,151 Hunt! 753 00:54:29,283 --> 00:54:30,942 Very well. 754 00:54:32,909 --> 00:54:34,401 Hunt. 755 00:54:40,201 --> 00:54:42,026 View, hello. 756 00:54:45,284 --> 00:54:48,981 Hello, everyone. Good to see you. Richard. 757 00:54:49,118 --> 00:54:52,531 Morning, Jim! After generations of false starts, 758 00:54:52,660 --> 00:54:55,279 we've finally managed to combine our cavalry. 759 00:54:55,410 --> 00:54:58,112 Congratulations. A marriage of minor convenience. 760 00:54:58,243 --> 00:55:00,068 You'll be fine, I promise. 761 00:55:00,202 --> 00:55:04,859 The second you have the Holborough boy's eye, flirt outrageously. 762 00:55:04,994 --> 00:55:07,696 But Warwick Holborough has ears like the Cambridge Cup! 763 00:55:07,827 --> 00:55:13,030 And Philip's the prize. Now, if you want a man's attention... ignore him. 764 00:55:20,245 --> 00:55:23,492 Warwick the Wingnut and Sausage Fingers? 765 00:55:23,620 --> 00:55:27,863 What a handsome couple. They'll have puppies not children. 766 00:55:29,828 --> 00:55:33,692 Wait... there's something I need to say. 767 00:55:34,829 --> 00:55:38,195 I see you... you're wasted here. 768 00:55:38,329 --> 00:55:42,157 When the time comes... give me a ring. 769 00:55:42,287 --> 00:55:45,239 If I could find your neck, I'd wring it. 770 00:55:45,371 --> 00:55:49,282 - Larita's making sheep's eyes at Philip. - She's a Venus de Flytrap! 771 00:55:49,413 --> 00:55:53,537 - She wants him all to herself. - She's not interested in Philip. 772 00:55:53,663 --> 00:55:56,033 - Nobody's interested in Philip. - I am! 773 00:55:56,997 --> 00:55:58,738 Mount up, Larita. 774 00:55:58,872 --> 00:56:02,782 If you don't mind, I think I might give the fox a head start. 775 00:56:02,914 --> 00:56:05,828 Lari, get on the pony, please. 776 00:56:06,414 --> 00:56:08,570 Oh, it's just as I thought... 777 00:56:08,706 --> 00:56:12,154 Oh, I said I'd ride, and I'm always good for my word. 778 00:56:13,164 --> 00:56:14,408 Tally-ho! 779 00:56:30,332 --> 00:56:34,278 780 00:56:34,415 --> 00:56:38,456 move through the night 781 00:56:38,582 --> 00:56:42,078 782 00:56:42,207 --> 00:56:46,118 783 00:56:46,249 --> 00:56:50,326 the secret code I use 784 00:56:50,458 --> 00:56:54,286 785 00:56:54,417 --> 00:57:00,780 cos you're the only one to make me fly 786 00:57:01,959 --> 00:57:06,248 you're a sex bomb 787 00:57:06,376 --> 00:57:09,658 when I need to come along... 788 00:57:09,792 --> 00:57:12,198 What? 789 00:57:12,334 --> 00:57:14,621 790 00:57:14,751 --> 00:57:18,081 - What is she doing? - A victory lap, by the look of things. 791 00:57:19,126 --> 00:57:22,658 There's something wild about that child that's so contagious. 792 00:57:26,085 --> 00:57:28,241 Whoo-hoo! 793 00:57:31,460 --> 00:57:35,501 Well, she promised she'd ride. Ha-Ha! 794 00:57:44,753 --> 00:57:48,367 can get our number 795 00:57:48,503 --> 00:57:53,540 let's misbehave! 796 00:57:53,670 --> 00:57:58,458 about you, child, that's so contagious 797 00:57:58,587 --> 00:58:03,707 let's misbehave! 798 00:58:03,837 --> 00:58:08,578 he wouldn't stand for teasin' 799 00:58:08,712 --> 00:58:13,535 out of season 800 00:58:13,671 --> 00:58:18,577 just one little thing to little lovebirds 801 00:58:18,713 --> 00:58:24,294 let's misbehave... 802 00:58:30,589 --> 00:58:32,165 Whoo! 803 00:58:42,631 --> 00:58:45,298 Miss Hilda, telephone from New York. 804 00:58:52,881 --> 00:58:54,374 Uncle George? 805 00:58:54,507 --> 00:58:57,374 Oh, thank God, a friendly voice. 806 00:58:57,507 --> 00:59:00,624 Yes, and she's a complete nightmare. 807 00:59:03,382 --> 00:59:05,373 Really? 808 00:59:05,507 --> 00:59:07,711 How salacious. 809 00:59:10,091 --> 00:59:11,963 Come in. 810 00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:14,340 Mother? 811 00:59:15,716 --> 00:59:18,963 I'd like to apologise for today's schmozzle. 812 00:59:19,091 --> 00:59:21,378 That really won't be necessary. 813 00:59:21,508 --> 00:59:24,672 Larita made no secret of her disapproval of blood sports. 814 00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:26,376 She did ride as promised. 815 00:59:26,508 --> 00:59:31,960 Well, we should credit her with her imaginative way of keeping her word. 816 00:59:32,092 --> 00:59:34,166 You must be very proud of her. 817 00:59:35,217 --> 00:59:37,788 Mother, I think... 818 00:59:37,926 --> 00:59:40,414 I think maybe Larita and I ought to go. 819 00:59:40,551 --> 00:59:42,755 Oh... 820 00:59:42,884 --> 00:59:45,503 Yes, I see. Very well. 821 00:59:45,634 --> 00:59:49,463 Feel free to drop in whenever it takes your fancy. 822 00:59:49,593 --> 00:59:51,797 - Off you go. Enjoy. - Don't be like that. 823 00:59:51,926 --> 00:59:54,924 I'm sorry, dear, wasn't Mummy being kind enough? 824 00:59:55,052 --> 00:59:57,540 Take these, they might get you as far as Constantinople! 825 00:59:57,677 --> 01:00:00,344 - And this... Casablanca. - Mother, stop it! 826 01:00:00,469 --> 01:00:02,341 No. You stop it! 827 01:00:12,678 --> 01:00:15,166 The money's gone, John. 828 01:00:15,303 --> 01:00:17,258 Nothing left. 829 01:00:17,386 --> 01:00:20,586 The only thing standing between this family and bankruptcy 830 01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:23,208 are those surveyors in the back field. 831 01:00:24,970 --> 01:00:30,588 Lord Hurst is offering to buy 400 acres to keep the bailiffs away. 832 01:00:32,179 --> 01:00:36,635 It's your legacy, John Whittaker... and I'm selling it. 833 01:00:41,221 --> 01:00:45,878 - I had no idea. - No... No, you don't. 834 01:00:50,763 --> 01:00:54,971 You were supposed to take over the estate, take your responsibilities. 835 01:00:55,097 --> 01:00:58,095 But you were unexpectedly flagged down. 836 01:00:59,805 --> 01:01:02,887 I've been struggling for years with a man who doesn't care, 837 01:01:03,014 --> 01:01:05,218 waiting for you to step up to the mark. 838 01:01:07,722 --> 01:01:10,839 No. You just go. 839 01:01:10,972 --> 01:01:14,338 Go to Algiers with your racing car driver. 840 01:01:14,473 --> 01:01:17,139 I'm too tired to care any more! 841 01:01:19,306 --> 01:01:23,003 It's not exactly surprising, John. Look at the grounds. 842 01:01:23,140 --> 01:01:27,596 - Your mother is being very practical. - In what sense? 843 01:01:27,723 --> 01:01:31,089 You're not coming back. Your father moved out decades ago. 844 01:01:31,224 --> 01:01:35,218 Philip's not going to marry Hilda. Nobody's going to marry Marion. 845 01:01:35,349 --> 01:01:39,390 Subdividing the land and selling to a neighbour is an elegant solution. 846 01:01:39,516 --> 01:01:41,174 Somewhat harsh. 847 01:01:42,683 --> 01:01:45,385 I've had my fair share of selling off my past, 848 01:01:45,516 --> 01:01:49,640 and it is an auction of innocence that's neither fun nor pretty, 849 01:01:49,766 --> 01:01:53,179 but it is realistic, something your mother excels in. 850 01:01:53,308 --> 01:01:56,010 But it's my responsibility. 851 01:01:57,433 --> 01:02:00,597 Gracious, how can I have been so blind? 852 01:02:38,977 --> 01:02:42,390 Oh, winter hydrangeas! How do you do it? 853 01:02:42,519 --> 01:02:47,307 It's a controlled mixture of passion, persistence and horse manure. 854 01:02:50,020 --> 01:02:53,432 I was hoping to catch a glimpse of the new bride. 855 01:02:53,562 --> 01:02:57,058 Ah! John's wife has very fickle allergies. 856 01:02:57,187 --> 01:03:01,809 - Allergies to what? - Flowers, Emma. Can you believe it? 857 01:03:01,937 --> 01:03:05,101 That is a strange choice of bed fellow for this neck of the woods. 858 01:03:05,229 --> 01:03:08,559 You'll just have to make do with John and Sarah. 859 01:03:08,687 --> 01:03:11,176 It'll be like old times. 860 01:03:11,312 --> 01:03:16,847 the whole world smiles... 861 01:03:18,521 --> 01:03:20,844 Why the big Panda eyes? 862 01:03:22,688 --> 01:03:25,473 I've often meant to ask you something, but I hadn't the courage. 863 01:03:25,605 --> 01:03:27,679 Well, don't then. 864 01:03:27,813 --> 01:03:32,103 Did you think I behaved like a cad, marrying Larita without telling you? 865 01:03:32,230 --> 01:03:34,221 No, of course not. 866 01:03:34,355 --> 01:03:38,017 You took the opportunity and married for love. I respect you for it. 867 01:03:38,147 --> 01:03:41,513 If we'd have married it would've been for friendship and convenience. 868 01:03:41,648 --> 01:03:43,768 - Would it? - Yes! 869 01:03:43,898 --> 01:03:46,386 We knew one another far too well. 870 01:03:46,523 --> 01:03:52,472 I want my marriage to be thrilling, romantic, with passionate love letters. 871 01:03:52,606 --> 01:03:56,268 - I could've written you love letters. - Well, you didn't, did you? 872 01:03:56,398 --> 01:03:58,472 I did love you all the same. 873 01:03:59,857 --> 01:04:01,266 John, stop it. 874 01:04:10,399 --> 01:04:13,397 He's very different from the man I met in France. 875 01:04:14,774 --> 01:04:19,266 The boy. The same, sweet boy. 876 01:04:23,233 --> 01:04:27,772 Is it true what she says? Are you really selling off the land? 877 01:04:29,359 --> 01:04:33,104 To be perfectly honest, I haven't the faintest idea. 878 01:04:35,567 --> 01:04:38,352 But it's your home, it's your community. 879 01:04:39,567 --> 01:04:41,439 Doesn't that matter? 880 01:04:41,568 --> 01:04:43,144 No. 881 01:04:44,943 --> 01:04:47,064 You're a dark horse. 882 01:04:49,651 --> 01:04:54,558 Have you noticed how few men of my age there are in this village? 883 01:04:54,693 --> 01:04:57,810 Fourteen years ago, we all took the King's shilling. 884 01:04:57,943 --> 01:05:00,728 We all signed up together. 885 01:05:00,860 --> 01:05:05,814 My brother, friends, staff... 886 01:05:07,277 --> 01:05:12,018 All hunkered down in the front row of The Great War. 887 01:05:13,361 --> 01:05:16,940 I thought they kept majors safely behind desks? 888 01:05:17,069 --> 01:05:19,356 Promotion for surviving. 889 01:05:21,195 --> 01:05:25,520 As captain, it was my job to get them all out of the trenches. 890 01:05:25,653 --> 01:05:29,813 Within the first four minutes of our first charge... 891 01:05:31,945 --> 01:05:34,102 ...20,000 men died. 892 01:05:39,487 --> 01:05:41,893 In Thorverton, down the road here... 893 01:05:43,029 --> 01:05:45,483 ...they were stationed in Morocco. 894 01:05:46,404 --> 01:05:48,893 Their captain bought them all home. 895 01:05:54,822 --> 01:05:57,820 I didn't bring a single man back. 896 01:05:58,655 --> 01:06:00,776 This whole village died. 897 01:06:01,739 --> 01:06:05,151 I think there's a glimmer of life in you yet. 898 01:06:05,281 --> 01:06:10,104 Well, if there is, it has no time for pet cemeteries and Japanese lanterns. 899 01:06:10,239 --> 01:06:13,687 - Why did you come back? - I had no choice. 900 01:06:17,198 --> 01:06:21,357 Bonjour, Madame. Qu'est-ce que vous voulez? 901 01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:32,563 'She came for you?' 902 01:06:34,157 --> 01:06:35,567 Why the lie? 903 01:06:35,699 --> 01:06:39,230 She thought "wandering home" sounded better. 904 01:06:41,866 --> 01:06:44,533 And to be perfectly frank, I no longer cared. 905 01:06:50,075 --> 01:06:54,779 I hate new games. There are too many balls, I can't sink anything. 906 01:06:54,908 --> 01:06:58,985 - Sink some gin, Sausage Fingers! - I never, ever win. 907 01:06:59,117 --> 01:07:01,108 Oh, well done! 908 01:07:07,242 --> 01:07:10,857 Stop sucking it. Come and help. Come on, Pops. 909 01:07:10,993 --> 01:07:14,323 All right, Missie, hold your horses. 910 01:07:14,451 --> 01:07:16,856 Right, clear the decks, puppies. 911 01:07:16,993 --> 01:07:18,818 May I? 912 01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:28,649 I was hoping to have a word. 913 01:07:28,785 --> 01:07:32,945 We're accentuating the positive today, I don't have a mind for anything else. 914 01:07:33,077 --> 01:07:35,032 Of course... of course. 915 01:07:36,536 --> 01:07:39,202 I know you are under considerable stress... 916 01:07:40,994 --> 01:07:42,866 Regarding what? 917 01:07:44,536 --> 01:07:47,949 Lord Hurst's kind offer to buy into your property. 918 01:07:48,078 --> 01:07:52,072 The realtor I'm dealing with in London also specialises in subdivision. 919 01:07:52,203 --> 01:07:56,695 Perhaps he could help negotiate a premium price. 920 01:07:56,828 --> 01:08:00,360 Thank you, but really this is of no concern of yours. 921 01:08:00,495 --> 01:08:04,738 Of course it's a concern. I am a member of this family now and I'd like to help. 922 01:08:04,871 --> 01:08:08,034 And this is your interpretation of "help", is it? 923 01:08:08,162 --> 01:08:11,528 Carving up our heritage and selling it off to the highest bidder? 924 01:08:11,663 --> 01:08:14,234 Coming from a country no older than the chair you are sitting in, 925 01:08:14,371 --> 01:08:16,409 it seems a very practical solution. 926 01:08:16,538 --> 01:08:19,157 Just forget the seven generations of people 927 01:08:19,288 --> 01:08:23,033 who have devoted their entire lives to farming this land. 928 01:08:23,163 --> 01:08:26,327 Get someone else to do it. With a machine, no less. 929 01:08:27,372 --> 01:08:29,446 Who do you think you are? 930 01:08:30,664 --> 01:08:34,444 Swinging your wherewithal like a cat on heat. 931 01:08:35,914 --> 01:08:39,410 If you really want to be of assistance, Larita, 932 01:08:39,539 --> 01:08:42,110 I think you know what's required. 933 01:08:44,248 --> 01:08:46,285 Right... 934 01:08:46,414 --> 01:08:50,243 I think it's time an expert showed you how this game is played. 935 01:08:50,373 --> 01:08:52,364 Watch it... 936 01:08:52,498 --> 01:08:53,956 Bravo! 937 01:08:55,373 --> 01:08:59,319 What a sportswoman, I must say. Can you imagine? Fantastic! 938 01:09:01,499 --> 01:09:03,573 'Lari, you're confusing me. ' 939 01:09:03,707 --> 01:09:06,705 - 'I'm feeling trapped. ' - 'I don't understand. ' 940 01:09:06,832 --> 01:09:09,996 It's this house! It has an air of doom hanging over it. 941 01:09:10,124 --> 01:09:13,241 And I can barely stand the weight much longer. 942 01:09:18,916 --> 01:09:21,784 The answer is to go abroad again. 943 01:09:21,916 --> 01:09:26,491 Not yet. This is my life for now, you know that. 944 01:09:26,625 --> 01:09:29,872 - And what part do I play in it? - Do you have to be so loud? 945 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:32,785 Of course I do! I'm American. 946 01:09:38,542 --> 01:09:43,165 What is the use of bickering like this? It doesn't lead anywhere. 947 01:09:43,293 --> 01:09:46,244 You never know. It might lead to a natural end. 948 01:09:47,876 --> 01:09:49,997 Do you want it to? 949 01:09:51,126 --> 01:09:53,366 Do you? 950 01:09:53,502 --> 01:09:54,959 No! 951 01:09:55,793 --> 01:09:58,910 I just want some peace and quiet. 952 01:09:59,044 --> 01:10:01,828 You're far too young to make a remark like that. 953 01:10:01,960 --> 01:10:04,034 I can't help my age... 954 01:10:05,336 --> 01:10:07,243 ...Grandma. 955 01:10:10,127 --> 01:10:15,662 Look, I'm sorry that I leave you alone so much. Honestly, I'm sorry. 956 01:10:18,170 --> 01:10:21,666 Good. Then let's do something about it. 957 01:10:27,045 --> 01:10:29,498 Why are we driving so fast? 958 01:10:29,629 --> 01:10:31,703 The thrill of escape! 959 01:10:36,629 --> 01:10:40,042 You're looking very game today. Fairest game in the land. 960 01:10:41,588 --> 01:10:43,246 A penny for your thoughts? 961 01:10:43,379 --> 01:10:46,082 It's more than pennies, I'm afraid, Pinkie. 962 01:10:46,213 --> 01:10:48,666 I don't think I can afford the party this year. 963 01:10:48,796 --> 01:10:51,415 - But the Japanese lanterns! - No, cancelled. 964 01:10:51,546 --> 01:10:54,414 Had to choose, Japanese lanterns or the maid. 965 01:10:54,547 --> 01:10:59,784 You're not getting out of it that easily. My offer of cellar and staff still stands. 966 01:10:59,922 --> 01:11:03,453 It wouldn't be Christmas without your knees-up. 967 01:11:13,964 --> 01:11:19,464 Oh! This is the first piece of clarity I've had since arriving. Whoo! 968 01:11:23,090 --> 01:11:26,752 Why can't we live in moments like these forever? 969 01:11:26,882 --> 01:11:28,754 Why? 970 01:11:28,882 --> 01:11:32,248 Because you've stopped loving me, my darling! 971 01:11:32,382 --> 01:11:34,420 How can you say that? 972 01:11:34,549 --> 01:11:37,547 Oh, I just open my mouth and the words come out. 973 01:11:38,466 --> 01:11:40,670 Then let's make a fresh start. 974 01:11:56,050 --> 01:12:00,957 There are so many things I need to tell you about me. Hard things. 975 01:12:01,092 --> 01:12:02,882 I don't care. 976 01:12:03,009 --> 01:12:04,881 I do. 977 01:12:05,009 --> 01:12:09,382 It doesn't matter. I trust you absolutely. 978 01:12:09,842 --> 01:12:19,466 whenever Spring breaks through again... 979 01:12:19,593 --> 01:12:20,872 Come on. 980 01:12:21,718 --> 01:12:26,008 981 01:12:26,843 --> 01:12:33,753 is past forgetting 982 01:12:33,885 --> 01:12:38,875 983 01:12:39,011 --> 01:12:45,458 984 01:12:45,594 --> 01:12:50,086 985 01:12:52,595 --> 01:12:53,839 Shot! 986 01:13:01,929 --> 01:13:03,386 John! 987 01:13:07,054 --> 01:13:10,384 - Top hole. - Oh! 988 01:13:10,513 --> 01:13:13,760 I can't decide which is worse, that you had to sneak outside 989 01:13:13,888 --> 01:13:16,672 to get some privacy, or that you were caught by Veronica. 990 01:13:16,805 --> 01:13:18,630 Who's Veronica? 991 01:13:18,763 --> 01:13:21,003 I am. It's my name. 992 01:13:24,180 --> 01:13:27,676 - I fail to see the humour in it! - No, darling, you're quite right. 993 01:13:27,805 --> 01:13:31,171 I can certainly see the serious implications. It's not a laughing matter. 994 01:13:31,305 --> 01:13:33,177 It's only a laughing matter. 995 01:13:33,305 --> 01:13:37,169 Indecent exposure is illegal. Even in America. 996 01:13:37,306 --> 01:13:39,380 Yep, yep... 997 01:13:39,514 --> 01:13:42,085 You're right. And we're very, very sorry, aren't we? 998 01:13:42,223 --> 01:13:46,512 - No, I'm not. This is my husband. - And this is my home! 999 01:13:46,640 --> 01:13:49,128 Maybe it's time for them to fly the nest? 1000 01:13:49,265 --> 01:13:53,128 Certainly not. They will stay put and brazen this out. 1001 01:13:53,265 --> 01:13:56,263 And you can get that ghastly painting out of my house! 1002 01:13:56,390 --> 01:13:59,258 We do not need any more reminders of your easy virtue! 1003 01:14:09,557 --> 01:14:12,093 - Excited, Furber? - Overwhelmed, sir. 1004 01:14:12,224 --> 01:14:16,799 - Miss Hilda... - Uncle George... How explosive! 1005 01:14:16,933 --> 01:14:19,635 Furber, I recognise that as asparagus. 1006 01:14:19,766 --> 01:14:21,638 Correct, Madam. 1007 01:14:21,766 --> 01:14:25,346 - Ha! I pity poor Panda. - Oh, what is it now? 1008 01:14:25,475 --> 01:14:30,631 Read! "The Detroit News". Uncle George is a super sleuth! 1009 01:14:30,767 --> 01:14:34,180 Collecting old newspapers is the last refuge of a truly boring man. 1010 01:14:34,309 --> 01:14:38,433 Boring? Far from it. It was a scandal! 1011 01:14:38,559 --> 01:14:41,261 Wasn't it... Mrs Morley? 1012 01:14:42,559 --> 01:14:45,676 Mrs Tom Morley of Detroit, Michigan. 1013 01:14:45,809 --> 01:14:48,014 Don't be grotesque, Hilda. 1014 01:14:48,143 --> 01:14:52,635 Well, I suppose I'd better finish my meal before it wilts entirely. 1015 01:14:52,768 --> 01:14:55,221 - Any dressing? - Oh, I am genuinely shocked! 1016 01:14:55,352 --> 01:14:59,049 - No thanks, I always end up wearing it. - We've been hoodwinked! 1017 01:14:59,185 --> 01:15:01,591 - Especially that runny vinaigrette. - Fire and brimstone! 1018 01:15:01,727 --> 01:15:03,682 Mayonnaise has more ballast. 1019 01:15:03,810 --> 01:15:07,176 Will you stop this insulting behaviour immediately? 1020 01:15:12,936 --> 01:15:15,057 Oh, I always hated that photo of myself. 1021 01:15:15,186 --> 01:15:19,262 Of everything I ever expected, nothing prepared me for this. 1022 01:15:19,395 --> 01:15:22,062 - For what? - She was charged with murder. 1023 01:15:22,187 --> 01:15:24,675 - I was acquitted. - And that's consolation? 1024 01:15:24,812 --> 01:15:28,260 - I told you my husband died. - But you didn't tell us how, did you? 1025 01:15:28,395 --> 01:15:30,386 Does John know about this? 1026 01:15:30,520 --> 01:15:32,843 - I see... - It's no concern of ours. 1027 01:15:32,979 --> 01:15:35,598 Father! Really! 1028 01:15:35,729 --> 01:15:38,597 Yes, and after Hilda went to all that trouble digging it up. 1029 01:15:38,729 --> 01:15:41,182 I'm going outside for a cigarette. Care to join me? 1030 01:15:41,313 --> 01:15:44,227 Thank you, Jim. Don't mind if I do. 1031 01:15:45,980 --> 01:15:47,686 No concern? 1032 01:15:53,022 --> 01:15:55,096 The pack's closing. 1033 01:15:55,230 --> 01:15:58,394 This woman has taken advantage of our son! 1034 01:15:58,522 --> 01:16:00,559 He'd never have married her if he'd known. 1035 01:16:00,689 --> 01:16:03,557 - You know that, do you? - You'd have preferred we had an affair? 1036 01:16:03,689 --> 01:16:06,770 - It would've been more appropriate! - Mother! 1037 01:16:06,897 --> 01:16:10,974 - Unfortunately, I agree with you! - It's easy to talk like this now. 1038 01:16:11,106 --> 01:16:15,182 It isn't easy, it's heartbreaking. I love John, but it's not blind love. 1039 01:16:16,690 --> 01:16:19,641 Marion, does that sound indicate contempt or asthma? 1040 01:16:19,773 --> 01:16:22,096 You can't palm us off like that, Mrs Morley. 1041 01:16:22,232 --> 01:16:24,306 This is your doing. You're a bigger fool than you look. 1042 01:16:24,440 --> 01:16:26,514 Larita is your type, isn't she, Father? 1043 01:16:26,648 --> 01:16:29,184 That is the nicest thing any of you have ever said. 1044 01:16:29,315 --> 01:16:31,851 Hello, are we having a picnic? 1045 01:16:33,524 --> 01:16:39,189 John... I think your wife better unveil this one herself. Don't you, Larita? 1046 01:16:42,899 --> 01:16:44,440 Before we met... 1047 01:16:45,524 --> 01:16:49,649 ...I was involved in a court case over the death of my husband. 1048 01:16:49,775 --> 01:16:52,098 It was seedy and stressful, 1049 01:16:52,233 --> 01:16:55,148 but since I was found innocent 1050 01:16:55,275 --> 01:16:58,392 I didn't think it necessary to burden you with the details. 1051 01:16:58,525 --> 01:16:59,804 Innocent? 1052 01:16:59,942 --> 01:17:02,857 She was responsible for a man killing himself! 1053 01:17:02,984 --> 01:17:06,599 The verdict was suicide but that's not where it started. 1054 01:17:06,734 --> 01:17:08,524 I thought it was cancer. 1055 01:17:09,192 --> 01:17:10,815 It was... 1056 01:17:10,943 --> 01:17:13,478 But he was so desperately sick. 1057 01:17:13,609 --> 01:17:16,810 If you'd known him, you would've understood how forgivable it was. 1058 01:17:16,943 --> 01:17:19,396 - It's not as if she poisoned him. - That's what everyone thinks. 1059 01:17:19,526 --> 01:17:21,932 - She's a black widow. - I pity you, Marion. 1060 01:17:22,068 --> 01:17:24,272 Really? Well, I won't let you! 1061 01:17:24,402 --> 01:17:28,775 Right, that's it! You have a dance to organise, I suggest you all get to it! 1062 01:17:28,902 --> 01:17:30,560 Now! 1063 01:17:34,486 --> 01:17:37,057 Hilda! Come on, inside! 1064 01:17:39,402 --> 01:17:41,228 John... 1065 01:18:06,654 --> 01:18:09,771 Are you crying because you're angry or ashamed? 1066 01:18:11,904 --> 01:18:13,397 Neither. 1067 01:18:15,071 --> 01:18:19,528 Coming here has been the most demoralising experience of my life. 1068 01:18:24,738 --> 01:18:27,820 Why didn't you tell me? 1069 01:18:27,947 --> 01:18:30,482 I wanted to, everything just happened so fast. 1070 01:18:30,614 --> 01:18:32,770 That's not good enough. 1071 01:18:34,114 --> 01:18:36,982 I tried to, several times. 1072 01:18:38,781 --> 01:18:42,691 But you trusted me... "absolutely". 1073 01:18:44,698 --> 01:18:48,644 And you saw the field day those fatuous hypocrites made of it. 1074 01:18:48,781 --> 01:18:50,772 Please remember they're my family. 1075 01:18:50,906 --> 01:18:53,477 I shouldn't think of them at all if they weren't. 1076 01:18:53,615 --> 01:18:57,940 Still... you should have told me. 1077 01:18:59,532 --> 01:19:01,606 You should have loved me more. 1078 01:19:03,699 --> 01:19:05,855 I couldn't love you any more. 1079 01:19:05,991 --> 01:19:08,562 You should have loved me better. 1080 01:19:11,699 --> 01:19:13,986 I don't understand you, Larita. 1081 01:19:16,075 --> 01:19:18,610 I don't understand you at all. 1082 01:19:39,909 --> 01:19:44,366 1... 2... 3... Are you all left feet? 1083 01:19:44,493 --> 01:19:48,569 Dancing with you is like trying to move a piano. 1084 01:19:48,701 --> 01:19:51,071 I wonder what the American will be wearing. 1085 01:19:51,202 --> 01:19:53,441 Or who she'll be poisoning! 1086 01:19:56,243 --> 01:19:59,656 Do you like long, moonlit walks? 1087 01:19:59,785 --> 01:20:02,356 Only when taken by people who annoy me. 1088 01:20:02,494 --> 01:20:06,488 You've got me all to yourself. Larita's upstairs with a headache. 1089 01:20:06,619 --> 01:20:09,949 And which little fool, pray tell, gave her that? 1090 01:20:27,204 --> 01:20:30,783 - You ought to see if Larita is coping. - I already have. She's fine. 1091 01:20:30,912 --> 01:20:34,527 It's been a very trying day for her, John. 1092 01:20:34,662 --> 01:20:37,660 - Go and escort your wife down. - No, I wouldn't worry. 1093 01:20:37,787 --> 01:20:41,568 You know my wife, she'll make an entrance when she's ready. 1094 01:20:46,663 --> 01:20:48,488 Come in. 1095 01:20:51,163 --> 01:20:54,197 Quickly, you'll blow my cover. 1096 01:21:02,080 --> 01:21:04,699 Why are you sitting in the dark? 1097 01:21:04,831 --> 01:21:06,786 Watching. 1098 01:21:08,372 --> 01:21:11,536 People are so universally similar when their guard is down. 1099 01:21:11,664 --> 01:21:14,947 Oh, hello! Ha-ha! 1100 01:21:18,081 --> 01:21:22,241 It seems they are universally similar when their guard is up, as well. 1101 01:21:25,290 --> 01:21:26,747 May I? 1102 01:21:28,790 --> 01:21:33,080 - Thank you for being gallant today. - You are damn cool in a crisis. 1103 01:21:34,499 --> 01:21:37,699 The judge at my trial said something similar. 1104 01:21:39,874 --> 01:21:42,031 Why did you do it? 1105 01:21:44,583 --> 01:21:47,036 Why did you marry John? 1106 01:21:48,583 --> 01:21:52,245 My first husband was older, and his end was messy. 1107 01:21:54,292 --> 01:21:56,496 Long afterwards, this... 1108 01:21:58,125 --> 01:21:59,452 ...boy... 1109 01:21:59,584 --> 01:22:04,739 ...this pure boy arrived fresh and unblemished. 1110 01:22:07,959 --> 01:22:11,372 I married him because any other relationship seemed... 1111 01:22:12,251 --> 01:22:15,036 ...cheap and squalid. 1112 01:22:16,835 --> 01:22:21,327 My first marriage cost me my youth, and here I am stealing someone else's. 1113 01:22:23,377 --> 01:22:25,035 What will you do? 1114 01:22:27,127 --> 01:22:29,331 The best I can. 1115 01:22:35,377 --> 01:22:36,657 Oh, Davis, thank you. 1116 01:22:38,419 --> 01:22:41,583 - And thank you, Pinkie. - No, not at all, my dear. 1117 01:22:41,711 --> 01:22:44,330 - Just look at this turnout. - Hmm... 1118 01:22:44,461 --> 01:22:49,119 They've only come for a repeat performance of the Cincinnati succubus. 1119 01:22:49,253 --> 01:22:51,623 May I have the pleasure? 1120 01:23:25,505 --> 01:23:26,702 Oh, look! 1121 01:23:45,881 --> 01:23:49,294 - Tango, please. - Certainly. Tango... 1122 01:23:57,215 --> 01:23:59,964 Dance with me, John. 1123 01:24:01,465 --> 01:24:03,622 Lari, don't. 1124 01:24:03,757 --> 01:24:07,205 Please? Dance with me. 1125 01:24:49,135 --> 01:24:51,623 That was very gallant. 1126 01:25:42,804 --> 01:25:45,921 - You've got to stop them, Mother. - No, I don't. 1127 01:26:24,807 --> 01:26:27,924 Oh, marvellous! Marvellous! 1128 01:26:29,724 --> 01:26:33,006 Straight from the bordellos of Buenos Aires 1129 01:26:33,141 --> 01:26:36,506 to the Hippodrome of London, Maestro, take it away! 1130 01:26:38,141 --> 01:26:41,471 Jim, this is the end. 1131 01:26:52,350 --> 01:26:54,257 Congratulations, Madam. 1132 01:26:54,392 --> 01:26:58,137 - Have you been drinking, Furber? - Yes, Madam. Prodigiously. 1133 01:26:58,267 --> 01:27:00,969 - You are full of surprises. - Oh, yes, Madam. 1134 01:27:01,100 --> 01:27:03,175 I was even arrested once. 1135 01:27:03,309 --> 01:27:05,216 - What for? - Bigamy. 1136 01:27:13,643 --> 01:27:16,641 Ah, there you are, Pinkie, I've found you. 1137 01:27:27,435 --> 01:27:29,556 Larita, where are you going? 1138 01:27:29,685 --> 01:27:32,553 Away, Sarah. For John's sake. 1139 01:27:32,686 --> 01:27:34,427 Far, far away. 1140 01:27:35,561 --> 01:27:37,682 Is there anything I can do? 1141 01:27:37,811 --> 01:27:40,181 You can look after him. 1142 01:27:40,311 --> 01:27:43,973 Women like me are tiresome in love. We expect too much. 1143 01:27:45,853 --> 01:27:49,633 Marry John. It's the way things always should've been. 1144 01:27:49,770 --> 01:27:54,474 - I'm just so sorry I got in the way. - You love him that much? 1145 01:28:01,020 --> 01:28:03,474 Go. I'll cover for you. 1146 01:28:03,604 --> 01:28:05,310 Sweet Sarah. 1147 01:28:05,437 --> 01:28:08,684 So glad you've recovered from your headache. 1148 01:28:08,813 --> 01:28:11,764 Please don't build any convenient social lies on my behalf. 1149 01:28:11,896 --> 01:28:16,470 - I say, Mother is only... - Fighting to keep the charade alive? 1150 01:28:16,605 --> 01:28:19,970 You've shown tremendous fortitude holding this family together, Veronica, 1151 01:28:20,105 --> 01:28:21,895 and I can respect that. 1152 01:28:22,022 --> 01:28:26,726 What I can't respect is the manipulative road you've chosen to maintain control. 1153 01:28:26,855 --> 01:28:30,138 This war is over. Move on. 1154 01:28:30,272 --> 01:28:32,808 "Move on. " Oh, how convenient. 1155 01:28:32,939 --> 01:28:37,312 Oh, wake up, Marion. Edgar's not coming back. 1156 01:28:37,439 --> 01:28:39,560 And that ring isn't stuck, you are. 1157 01:28:39,689 --> 01:28:44,311 And Hilda, you've got such promise, yet you're squandering it on malice. 1158 01:28:44,440 --> 01:28:46,347 My advice to both you girls? 1159 01:28:47,273 --> 01:28:51,137 Run! Go see the world through your own eyes. 1160 01:28:52,773 --> 01:28:56,353 So speaks the siren, leading the sailors to their death. 1161 01:28:56,482 --> 01:28:59,729 At least I'm not Medusa, turning them to stone. 1162 01:28:59,857 --> 01:29:03,981 - Get out! - Larita? Lari? 1163 01:29:04,857 --> 01:29:07,809 - Lari, don't go. - John, I have to. 1164 01:29:07,941 --> 01:29:11,389 I can't live here. Nothing can. 1165 01:29:11,524 --> 01:29:15,056 But you're my wife, and I love you. 1166 01:29:16,441 --> 01:29:18,515 Oh, John, my darling... 1167 01:29:20,650 --> 01:29:23,269 You don't know what love is. 1168 01:29:23,400 --> 01:29:27,725 You have no idea what it means to love someone so much 1169 01:29:27,859 --> 01:29:30,561 that you will do anything for them. 1170 01:29:34,401 --> 01:29:37,067 Even inject them with poison 1171 01:29:37,192 --> 01:29:40,724 when they were too feeble to do it for themselves. 1172 01:29:46,401 --> 01:29:49,684 I don't believe that you could've ever loved me like that. 1173 01:29:58,360 --> 01:30:00,185 Oh, John, let her go. 1174 01:30:02,986 --> 01:30:08,567 Let her go, off into the sunset to inject another family with her poison! 1175 01:30:08,694 --> 01:30:10,685 Mother... Off you go! 1176 01:30:10,819 --> 01:30:13,189 Before your past catches up with you... again! 1177 01:30:13,319 --> 01:30:15,026 Mother! 1178 01:30:17,570 --> 01:30:19,893 Oh, you evil... 1179 01:30:20,028 --> 01:30:22,185 Mother! Shut up! 1180 01:30:25,445 --> 01:30:27,934 They are predicting warmer weather, Madam. 1181 01:30:28,070 --> 01:30:31,187 Yes, Furber, I believe they are. Thank you. 1182 01:30:36,404 --> 01:30:37,861 Very generous. 1183 01:30:39,154 --> 01:30:42,401 There's something special in there for Jackson. Make sure he gets it. 1184 01:30:42,529 --> 01:30:45,444 Of course. Where will Madam be staying? 1185 01:30:46,488 --> 01:30:47,945 Who knows? 1186 01:30:48,696 --> 01:30:50,237 Good luck. 1187 01:30:51,488 --> 01:30:53,230 And you, Furber. 1188 01:30:54,197 --> 01:30:56,768 Would you forward the painting please, Furber? 1189 01:30:56,905 --> 01:30:59,192 To where, sir? 1190 01:31:05,572 --> 01:31:08,524 I shall enjoy passing on the good news, sir. 1191 01:31:12,531 --> 01:31:18,315 Well, my dear, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. 1192 01:31:18,448 --> 01:31:22,691 Really? 1193 01:31:23,740 --> 01:31:26,821 I'm all ears. 1194 01:31:26,949 --> 01:31:31,736 these wheels in motion 1195 01:31:31,866 --> 01:31:35,480 1196 01:31:37,157 --> 01:31:41,566 I'll climb any mountain 1197 01:31:41,699 --> 01:31:45,528 1198 01:31:45,658 --> 01:31:48,360 1199 01:31:50,492 --> 01:31:53,276 1200 01:31:54,825 --> 01:31:57,859 1201 01:31:59,617 --> 01:32:02,153 1202 01:32:04,284 --> 01:32:07,531 1203 01:32:08,493 --> 01:32:12,356 1204 01:32:12,493 --> 01:32:17,197 1205 01:32:17,326 --> 01:32:21,735 in that old-fashioned way 1206 01:32:21,868 --> 01:32:26,988 I'll climb any mountain 1207 01:32:27,119 --> 01:32:30,899 1208 01:32:31,035 --> 01:32:33,738 1209 01:32:35,827 --> 01:32:38,577 1210 01:32:39,911 --> 01:32:43,111 1211 01:32:44,911 --> 01:32:47,400 1212 01:33:10,704 --> 01:33:15,611 My Lords, ladies and gentlemen, introducing the Easy Virtue Orchestra. 1213 01:33:17,788 --> 01:33:21,071 On piano, the honourable James Watson. 1214 01:33:25,289 --> 01:33:28,121 On the bass, Thomas "The Bass Engine" Mason. 1215 01:33:31,664 --> 01:33:34,532 On the euphonium, Oren Marshall. 1216 01:33:36,664 --> 01:33:38,655 Christopher Webster, trombone. 1217 01:33:40,289 --> 01:33:45,113 Drums, Mr David Rowntree and Benjamin Bryant. 1218 01:33:48,831 --> 01:33:51,285 On the ukulele, Paul Woollard. 1219 01:33:52,707 --> 01:33:55,740 On the guitar, Christopher Montague. 1220 01:33:58,332 --> 01:34:01,200 On the washboard, Jason Boshoff. 1221 01:34:02,499 --> 01:34:06,991 Saxophones, Mike "The Micro" Smith and Samuel Franke. 1222 01:34:11,416 --> 01:34:15,492 On clarinets, Christopher Caldwell and Bradley Grant. 1223 01:34:19,458 --> 01:34:23,073 On the trumpets, Gerard Presencer and Christopher Storr. 1224 01:34:28,167 --> 01:34:32,741 On strings, Sophie Solomon, Perry Montague-Mason, Emlyn Singleton, 1225 01:34:32,876 --> 01:34:36,656 Boguslaw Kostecki, Peter Lale, David Daniels and Joe Knight. 1226 01:34:36,792 --> 01:34:38,333 Thank you. 1227 01:34:39,376 --> 01:34:42,043 And on the saw, David Coulter. 1228 01:34:43,835 --> 01:34:47,117 On the bandoneon, Ian "Tango-man" Watson. 1229 01:34:50,002 --> 01:34:53,498 And on the oboe, Katherine "St-John-St-John" St John. 1230 01:34:55,169 --> 01:34:56,709 Thanks, Kate. 1231 01:34:56,835 --> 01:34:59,122 On the slide whistle, Stephan Elliott. 1232 01:35:00,419 --> 01:35:02,659 Michelle De Vries on the cymbal. 1233 01:35:02,794 --> 01:35:04,832 Barnaby Thompson on spoons. 1234 01:35:06,169 --> 01:35:08,871 Tristram Penna, Gramophone. 1235 01:35:09,003 --> 01:35:10,495 Thanks, Tris. 1236 01:35:10,628 --> 01:35:13,542 And on the banjo, Benedict De Vries. 1237 01:35:16,086 --> 01:35:18,871 Ladies and Gentlemen, you've been a wonderful audience. 1238 01:35:19,003 --> 01:35:22,203 Tell your friends and please come back soon. 1239 01:35:22,337 --> 01:35:25,584 And remember, keep your powder dry. 1240 01:35:28,920 --> 01:35:31,290 Goodnight. Thank you. 1241 01:35:34,337 --> 01:35:38,414 a one-way ticket 1242 01:35:39,504 --> 01:35:43,450 - - Really? 1243 01:35:43,588 --> 01:35:47,119 1244 01:35:48,171 --> 01:35:51,454 1245 01:35:51,588 --> 01:35:57,586 - - I'll climb any mountain! 1246 01:35:57,714 --> 01:36:01,708 - - I'll do anything! 1247 01:36:01,839 --> 01:36:06,496 - - 1248 01:36:06,631 --> 01:36:10,625 - - 1249 01:36:10,756 --> 01:36:15,460 - - 1250 01:36:15,590 --> 01:36:20,710 - - 1251 01:36:20,840 --> 01:36:23,507 1252 01:36:24,840 --> 01:36:27,922 1253 01:36:30,049 --> 01:36:32,716 1254 01:36:33,799 --> 01:36:38,042